So Original

Don't Put All Your Eggs...

...On the table in a ship, or they're bound to roll off and break. 

I was sitting back on the desk, tracing the outlines on the map that was placed in front of me. 

"You really don't remember?" Hapley asked, leaning against the glass bookshelf door. 

"No!" I exclaimed in frustration, picking at the edges of the map. "You think I would be able to remember if I grew up in castles and rode ponies at the age of three and if I was served breakfast, lunch and dinner on a silver tray with golden utensils!"

"Your Highness," Peter said warily, raising his hands in front of his chest as though I was about to throw something at him. "You grew up by the oceanside in your family's cottage on the shore and went missing four years ago. You are the Princess Parynheath." 

"I grew up on the ocean side all right," I started, earning a raised eyebrow of hope from Peter. "I was raised near the ocean in California!"

This time I actually threw a pillow that was stationed on the cushioned chair below me at Peter, somehow hitting both him and Hapley. 

"Your Highness, you've been gone ever since you ran away," Hapley said, his blond hair falling slightly into his eyes. "You left a note telling your parents that you renounced the throne and that you were leaving with the palace sorcerer to a new land, and that any search attempts were futile."

I looked at him and started laughing, feeling the laugh rise out of my gut and bubble out of my mouth. "Listen, coming from a girl who just told an octopus off for having bad manners, you all are crazy, which is saying something. So how about you let me go and we'll all be on our merry little ways."

I thought of school and another point occurred. "And," I continued. "If you make me miss school to the point where I'm ineligible to graduate, I'll feed you to the octopus because I spent far too much time in a place of misery to not get some reward. Graduation is only one month away, so I suggest you return me quickly."

"Your Highness," Peter said again. I would have told him to stop calling me that because it made me uncomfortable, but I was amused and I also figured that no one would ever address me by my rightful title again. Joke. That was a joke. "We're returning you to your home. We are in a land whose government is rife with corruption and many of us believe it's time for a rightful ruler to step in again."

"I can't even rule a fake country," I said, thinking back to the time when we made up countries in my government class. "I got pillaged by Pimply Porter and then proceeded to be overthrown by a dictatorship whose leaders were too busy making out in the corner to even care about what's going on. How do you expect me to do that?"

Hapley and Peter exchanged uncertain looks. "And," I continued again. "If you insist that I'll know what to do because it should feel 'natural' and 'inherent' then you all need to consider taking a good long look up your butts to find the source of where you got those stupid remarks again."

They looked dumbfounded and I decided to keep going. "If this is like the books and you tell me that there's going to be at least one trustworthy person in my court who I can depend on as a sidekick then forget it. I hate being uncomfortable and you're stressing me out!"

I stormed out of the cabin to go find that one nice guy who always took sympathy on the main character of the novel and decided to be BFFs with them. I checked in the kitchen but everyone in there was too busy to care or too afraid of my status to dare (see what I did there?). I checked under the deck and in the cabins, and returned back up top to look for other people. I spotted a small wisp of a boy who was hiding behind a barrel with a small bird. He looked to be about eight or nine, too young to be teenager annoying and too old to be dependent annoying. He would probably still be annoying, but he seemed harmless. Innocent child and pet sidekick, I evaluated as I stepped over to his hiding place. This is a Disney movie and he'll probably be my friend. That's what happens, right?

I tapped him on his shoulder, making him jerk in surprise and swivel around. His eyes were the size of saucers and there were bread crumbs around his mouth. I peeked over his shoulder to see a large chunk of bread, probably stolen from the kitchen sitting at his feet. He started to scramble away, but I held the collar of his shirt before he had the chance. 

"I won't tell if you'll be my friend," I said, smiling at his skeptical expression. 

"Do you always have to bribe people to be your friend?" he retorted, looking my outfit up and down. "Because you wear weird clothes?"

I scoffed and let him go, sitting next to him and his bird. "Yup," I responded, earning a smile from him. 

"Do you always have to steal food just to eat?" I asked. His eyes turned downward toward the bread and back up to mine. 

"Yes," he whispered softly. I mulled over this in my brain. Hapley and Peter didn't seem like the type to neglect a small child, especially people who wouldn't mind sparing a meal every once in a while, but that may just be surface characteristics. Perhaps they were barbaric on the inside. Huh. 

"Do they know you're on board?" I asked again, earning another nod from him. 

"They should," he responded. "Captain's my dad."

I stared at him wide-eyed. "Peter?" I asked, earning an affirming nod. "He's your dad and he doesn't feed you?" 

He nodded again with a small twinkle in his eye. "That's outrageous!" I said, my voice getting louder. It only reinforced the twinkle, but I didn't particularly pay attention to it at the moment. "A father not feeding his own son? And, what's even worse," I continued, lowering my voice and leaning in close for the utmost dramatic effect. "Is that the boy who claims to be his son lied to me!"

The twinkle immediately disappeared and he yelled as I grabbed him hard by the ear and dragged him out of his hiding spot along with the bread. We marched to the captain's quarters and straight through the door to where Peter and Hapley were heatedly arguing. Really, it was complete with the whole bulging veins and bugging eyes and they were both red in the face as obscenities flew out of their mouth. They halted immediately and tried to compose themselves as they noticed my presence. 

"I see I have underestimated the real force of the sailor's mouth," I commented, smirking slightly. "I just came in to let you know..."

I paused as I looked down at the pleading eyes of the kid who had been hiding. The bread was long forgotten and I figured if I could tell he was lying before, he must be either really good at faking innocent fear or he was genuinely afraid. 

"Know what?" Peter snapped.

"How wonderful your staff and crew are aboard this ship," I responded, my smirk growing as I saw the kid's obvious relief. I turned to leave but paused and looked back. "And that not only can I hear you from the other side of the ship, but I can smell you as well."

I sauntered out of the Captain's quarters and followed the kid back to the barrels. "Do you know where the pirates plan on stowing me for the duration of our stay?" I asked the kid. He shrugged his shoulders. 

"Interesting," I observed. "What's your name?"

He shrugged his shoulders again. "Everyone calls me 'Boy'."

"Well, that won't do," I responded. "How about Sir Alexander the III."

"That's not my name," he responded. 

"Is now," I responded, getting up and stretching my muscles. I sat on top of the barrel and observed the ocean. I heard a shout from above that resulted in a flurry of activity. Men were scrambling over lines and doing other shipley things that I didn't have one clue about. The shout was echoed and I finally heard what it was. "Land-ho!". I looked out to sea but couldn't see anything. Then I figured it out. If this was land, and these ship people had captured me when they needed to, we were most likely coming upon where I grew up. I felt a sinking feeling in my stomach as I saw Peter standing at the entrance to his cabin, scowling and peering right at me. I heaved an over dramatic sigh and glanced at Sir Alexander the III, muttering something about calling this land's police if I didn't reappear and stepped into the cool air of the inside quarters again.