Paper Moon

Chapter 19

(Edited)
I laid in bed and started at the ceiling. Earlier I had convinced dad that I wasn't hungry and just wanted to sleep. They all got something to eat while I did everything possible to make it look like I wasn't crying, which worked.

"He won't be mad, talk to him." The words kept going through my mind and I couldn't sleep. Tears started to fall and I felt like I couldn't breathe. I quietly got out of bed and walked out onto the balcony attached to our room.

I took a deep breath in and calmed myself down before I was able to have a panic attack. I need to tell him, but how?

I heard the balcony door slide open and a body sit next to me. "Halo, baby girl are you okay?" Dad. I nodded yes, but it quickly turned to a no. He pulled me into his side and rubbed my back as tears fell down my face.

"I'm so sorry" I mumbled into his side while I cried. "Why are you sorry?" How he understood me will always be a mystery but I was glad he could. "I don't know what I was thinking, I was just hurt and I didn't mean to" I cried some more.

"Halo, baby what happened?" He asked, rubbing circles into my back. I pulled away and pulled up my sleeves. He took them in his hands and slowly started to unwrap my right arms bandage.

After that one was off he did the next. His expression was unreadable and it was eating me alive. "Are you mad?" I barley whispered. "No, I'm not mad. Halo I could never be mad." I looked back down at my arms and I can't describe the kind of disappointment that filled me. I was doing so good. Five months clean. Five months!!! And now I've broken it all because I read my stupid diary.

"Halo, can I have your blades?" I looked back up at him and nodded. He stood up then took my hand and pulled me up. I walked over to my bag and pulled out the diary.

"What's that?" "My stupid diary." I opened the cover and pulled out the two blades. "Here" I mumbled and placed them in his hands. "You can have this too, I don't want it." I placed the dairy in his hands and walked over to the small couch in our room.

"Wanna burn it?" He asked and took a seat next to me. I nodded. "Halo, you know you can always talk to me right?" I nodded and he placed the book and blades beside him before pulling me into his side.

"Did you know, if it weren't for you I wouldn't be here right now?" I said and wiped some tears. "What do you mean?" He asked, still holding me close. "That day, I was going to kill myself. I was tired of everything and just wanted everything to stop. I left that morning with the thought that I was going to end it all. I told myself, 'the only way I'm not gonna kill myself is if I get to meet one of my heroes' but at the time it seemed like it wasn't possible. I didn't even know you were in town, I figured I would just do it and end of story but then you almost got hit by a motorcycle and I figured, I've got nothing to live for, doesn't mean that guy doesn't."

I sniffled and stood up but was quickly pulled back. Dad held me close to him as he cried. I was starting to feel very numb to everything and just wrapped my arms around him. The cuts started to sting but I didn't give a fuck.

"Halo, baby you know I love you so much right? Just the thought of you wanting to hurt yourself hurts me. Knowing you were at a point where you didn't want to live anymore hurts me even more. Promise me you'll talk to me, and if not me then Rian, Jack, Zack, Brendon, anyone. I don't want you to hurt yourself. Your too beautiful to want to hurt yourself. Promise me Halo." "I promise."

Dad stood up and pulled me with him to the bathroom where he cleaned my cuts and re-wrapped my arms in bandages. "I love you dad." "I love you too, don't ever forget that."

I walked with him back to the bed and laid back down in between the two. I fell asleep to Dad quietly singing Kids In The Dark.
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The next morning I woke up to laughing and could feel myself pressed against something. It took a second but I finally managed to open my eyes and realized that 'something' was Jack. His arms were wrapped around me and he was still asleep. I carefully pulled his arm off of me and moved forward, then off the bed.

Thank God he's a heavy sleeper.

I walked to the bathroom and fixed my hair before deciding that I wanted breakfast. I walked out and everyone was in the living room or kitchen. Brendon was making breakfast while the others were talking and laughing about something.

"There she is! Halo-" Max's cheering was brought to a halt when his eyes landed in something. I looked down and noticed a bit of blood was seeping through the bandage. Everyone was now starting at me.

Breathing started to get harder and it felt as if the walls were closing in on me. I quickly went back into the room and slammed the door. I locked it before sliding down the door.

"Halo?" The door slamming must have woken Jack up. "Halo what's wrong? Why are you crying?" A banging on the door made both Jack and me jump. "Halo open the door" "No! Go away!" "Halo please."

Jack walked over to the door and was about to open it, that's when I made a bold move. I let him open it.