Newt Scamander Preferences

When He Visits Her Grave

Newt knew what he had to do that day and as much as it oained him to do so, he knew that he owed to his late Mother, to visit her graveside.

It had been one year since her premature death and not once had he visited her since the funeral. Granted, Leta was the main reason for him not seeing her headstone sooner but even so, Newt felt an undeniable guilt for not remembering the anniversary. He was so lucky to have Jacob as a friend. He could not thank the kind male enough, for buying the perfect bouquet of flowers for him to take to her.
He caught a taxi from his home to visit the graveyard where his Mother was buried. He had planned to apparate there but he had been too emotionally exhausted to do so.
Being there, amongst the permantly sleeping, made everything too real. It made all of his fears become 3D.
When ice blue eyes fell upon the black marble headstone imprinted with gold lettering, he could feel his knees beginning to weaken. Nausea to rise in his throat. Tears prickle his eyes.
There she was, the woman who had raised him, laid to rest before she had seen him become Mr (y/l/n). You both had joked on several occasions that, Newt would take your last name, as you were the one whom wore the trousers in the relationship.
Dropping on to ground beside the stone, Newt took a deep breath, already regretting his visit. "I know Dad has already begged you to not be dead. Hell, I'll even bet that uptight brother of mine has as well. I know you won't, you're stubborn like that. You'll be watching me from Heaven now, thinking that I'm being silly talking to the ground when you're up there. I know you died because your body was ready to find it's blissful rest but it that fact doesn't make the pain go away. Although it does ease my mind thinking that you're happy now and a part of the celestial bodies above. You always did like stars." he was forced to stop talking momentarily. The tears in his eyes blinded him, as his throat burned with raw grief. "I still miss you, it breaks my heart to know you'll never get to see me marry (y/n)." Newt paused as hee tried to gain control of his emotions. "I know that you loved them. I know I've made the right choice. I just wish you could have soent more time with (y/n), gotten to learn about the luttle things that make me adore them more than anything in this world." Newt paused and used the break in his monologue to trace the smooth lettering on the stone. "Last I'd heard, Thesus was doing well. I don't know if he still visits but I'm sure he's trying to move on, remember you without the pain. So am I. I'm not really sure why I came, this is just putting salt into my wound. Maybe it was for closure, you'd probably be able to tell me from a single look at my face. I was always an open book to you." he smiled despite his evident emotional agony. "Like I said, I miss you, Mom but you already knew that."

****

A/N: Guess what?