Subject To Change

Ryan's POV

"I'm sorry man," Kendall comforted me. "You know what?" She turned and looked at me and I shook my head. "One day. We'll be okay." She stared straight ahead as if waiting for confirmation from something, someone. She turned back to me and hugged me. "This isn't drunk Kendall speaking. We will be okay. We will. Yes, we will," she repeated as if trying to make herself believe it. She pulled away and I saw the tears on her face as she leaned back and let the sleep take over. I picked her up and took her to her room, tucking her in and gave her a kiss on her forehead, "We will."
I left her room and went back to the kitchen to wait on Paige. I thought I was drunk enough to not think but apparently I hadn't had enough. I made myself a mug of hot chocolate and sat down.
I didn't know how long I sat there not moving but at 8, I heard a key in the front door and noticed my mug was still full but was now sadly cold. I pushed myself up and made my way to the living room.
"Hey, you're up," Paige said, a smile still lingering on her face from something Liam probably said.
I nodded, "You must be Liam, I'm Ryan. I like to see myself as Paige's brother. " I put out my hand and he shook it, "Nice to meet you,"
I took in his appearance, neat hair, no beard, blue eyes, I raised my eyebrows and glanced at Paige.
"How about a chat, Liam?"
"Uhh, sure," he glanced at Paige nervously.
"Don't sweat it, I'll give you some space to give her a kiss. Or whatever you kids do..." I winked at them, catching Paige's shy smile as I made my way to the kitchen. I sat down and waited, hearing his footsteps at last, I sat up straight and swallowed my problems in preparation.
He sat down and looked at me expectedly.
"So tell me about yourself, Liam."
He shuffled in his seat, "Well, my surname's Shester. I'm fifteen, smart, pretty serious and straightforward about stuff too," I nodded. "I've definitely done some damage to people but I'm not about that life anymore." I nodded. I was straightforward with him too. Told him not to even try messing with Paige and that kind of thing.
Paige went to bed after he left so I went to my room for a while but I couldn't sleep.
I sat up and took my phone off the charger, this is pretty shitty, I thought, remaining seated for a while. Realising that sitting in bed wasn't any better, I got up and headed to the kitchen because the kitchen is always a happy place. If there's food...
The microwave beeped, informing me that my milk was hot so I added the cocoa and sugar and sat down at the island, stirring my hot chocolate monotonously*****. I sat there alone for hours, never really paying attention to anything, before I heard Kendall's door open. 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, she walked into the kitchen and started making herself an equally large mug of hot chocolate too and sat down, "Why're you up?" She asked as she took a sip off the spoon.
"Can't sleep, I had a talk with Liam by the way," I informed her, she smiled and nodded slowly, "Well?"
I chuckled, "Go easy on him. He's a good kid. Honest from the start."
She nodded, "I'll try," a small smile showing as she took a sip from her mug.
"So, what's bothering you?"
I sighed, "The nightmares. They're back," I shifted uncomfortably in the chair, feeling a wave of nausea come over me.
She stared at me over the brim of her mug, "What the hell? I thought they were gone..."
"Well, they were gone when dad was gone. Now he's back... and well, I blame him."
Kendall shook her head, "I know you do but it's not right. I don't like him much either but I'm sure he beats himself up for it too. He probably wishes he didn't drive that day. Or that he didn't get that phone call. He probably goes back to that night, asking himself what he could have done to change it."
I don't say anything so she goes on, "That's why he buries himself in work Ryan. He knows that you blame him and he knows things are different when he's around so he stays away. I'm not trying to defend him, I'm trying to get you to forgive. To do the right thing. He's only human." she pauses and sighs, looking down at the table. "I'm sorry, it's really not my place."
"You're the closest I'm getting to a mother, you might as well," I teased her and she smiled. "What's going on with you?" She glanced at me and cleared her throat, "Are they nightmares or more like 'slide shows'?"
I frowned, she was stressed. "Slide shows," I replied, watching her intently. She nodded but didn't catch my eye, her gaze falling into her mug. 
"I-" she paused. "Social services are probably going to pay me a visit this Sunday." She finished softly.