Bad reputation

•Eleven•

Week eight

I found myself very bored in the back of my English classroom. I had finished my essay two days ago and that was all we were working on in class. I put my headphones in and laid my head on the desk. We still had a good hour and a half in here so I decided to take a nap. There wasn't anything better to do.

All too soon I felt someone shaking my arm. Everyone around we was packing yo their stuff and gathering around the door. I took my headphones out and put my phone in my back pocket. Shawn had already grabbed my books for me. He's done this everyday, after about two weeks I finally gave up in trying to protest.

"Do you want to go outside for free period?" Shawn asked after putting my books in his locker. I was leaned up against the locker beside his and I slightly nodded.

He smiles, grabbing a blanket in one hand and mind in the other. As we walked, I leaned my head against his arm. We walked out across the school yard over to the giant oak tree. Shawn laid the blanket down and we both sat on top of it.

The breeze was nice. It was quiet out here, but not too quite. It was peaceful.

"I think people are starting to notice." I said leaning back against the tree and placing one hand on my stomach subconsciously. "But I don't even care at this point. Fuck them." I said, my voice almost dragging because I was tired. Shawn chuckled. "What's so funny Mendes?" I said turning my head towards him and opening one eye.

"You're adorable when you swear." He said kissing my forehead. I scrunched my nose up.

We are sort of an unofficial official thing now, I guess. I don't even know my middle name half the time anymore. All I known I wore a sweatshirt to hid the fact that I'm bot wearing a bra, I have to go get some more later, mine have become too small.

I have to say the worst thing about being pregnant is being nauseous 24/7. I haven't puked once, I've just had the constant feeling that I need to. I can handle to mood swings and the being tired and hungry all the time, but that is by far the worst.

All too soon it was time to go back into the school for the last two classes of the day. I was nervous because they are having a cookout for Aaliyah's birthday and it's the first time I'm meeting any of the rest of Shawn's family. What if they don't like me? What if they think I'm a whore?

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"Honey, you need to relax. The stress isn't good for the baby." Karen said grabbing my shoulders to keep me from pacing.

"Is this dress okay? Is it too much shoulder? Or chest. It's too much chest I should go change." I said trying to run away.

"You look fine, adorable actually. You have nothing to worry about, they are going to love you. How could the not." She said hugging me. She reached her arm up to stroke my hair affectionately.  It was slightly calming. I sat down on the bar stool, placing one hand on my stomach.

"He's not to noticeable is he?" I asked.

"You can't even tell she's there." She said smiling.

"When he comes out with a thingy, you're going to feel bad for calling him a girl." I said pointing my free had at her. She laughed and went back to icing cupcakes.

I heard humming behind me so I turned around to see Shawn walking down the stairs and into the living room. I smiled at watched him for a few more seconds before turning back around with a smile on my face.

Karen was looking up me with one eyebrow raised. "What's going with you two?" She asked waving her spatula between the two of us.

"Nothing." I said placing my head on my hands.

"Mhm." She mumbled.

"What?"

"I didn't say anything." She said paying attention to the cupcakes. "Although Elizabeth Mendes would be an adorable baby."

"Okay, A) My Son's name isn't going to be Elizabeth. And B) there's nothing going on." I said hushed so Shawn wouldn't over hear us.

"Then why are you being so defensive of it?" She asked, which stumped me.

I started to play on my phone to ignore the question and I'm pretty sure I heard her humming the wedding march to herself.

We sat there for a few more minutes until the bell rang. I jumped a little in my seat, not only because it startled me, but also because I began to get nervous again.

I started to bite my nail subconsciously as Karen went to welcome them in. I heard muffled words coming closer as my heart beat faster and faster. They rounded a corner and a woman that look almost exactly like Karen carrying a baby were there in front of me.

"Brooke, this is my sister Rachel and my niece Emma. Ross, her husband will be in in a minute." Karen said.

"Brooke, it's so nice to meet you. I've heard lots of good things about you." Rachel said. I smiled and stuck a hand out for a handshake. She waved it off and I felt my face drop, but was quickly reassured when she pulled me into a hug, Emma right between us.

She couldn't have been older than a few weeks. She had on some white socks and a yellow onesie with black leggings. I couldn't take my eyes off her, she was literally the cutest thing in the world. Karen and Rachel were having their own conversation, they could have been talking about for all I know. All of my attention was on Emma. I subconsciously placed my hand on my stomach as I grabbed her little hand in my other. She opened her eyes and smiled at me. She had the bluest eyes and dimples on both sides of her cheeks. All of the nervousness that encased me all washed away as I looked into her eyes.

"Sweetheart, would you like to hold her?" Rachel said pulling me out of my trace. I hesitated before nodding. She motioned for me to follow her. I did and we walked out to the back yard. I sat down on the swinging bench and Rachel carefully handed Emma to me. She made sure I had a hold of her before she walked off with Karen. I pushed on the ground lightly to rock the swing as Emma just stared at me.

"What's a matter?" I asked in a very high pitched voice. "I look at lot different than your mommy, don't I? Maybe I'll get to stick around for a while and we can get to know each other. Can I let you in on a little secret? In about 7 months, I'm going to have one of you and I'm completely terrified. I don't know how to change a diaper or feed a baby or anything like that. But I know one thing, I'm going to try and be the best mom I can be. Way better than my mom ever was. She was a meanie, but you're too young and innocent for that story. Maybe once he or she gets here, I'll know what I'm doing, hopefully. But there's still that question in the back of my head of what's going to happen when he grows up and asks about his dad. What am I supposed to say? I still have a few years to worry about how to answer that. Maybe Shawn, the big adorable goofball you're related to, will still be in my life and I won't have to worry about that. " I said. Once I realized that she was I sleep, I laughed at myself for talking to a baby.

I reached my free hand up and wiped the tears from my face.

"Everything okay sweetie?" Karen asked walking back outside. I smiled back down and Emma before answering.

"Everything is perfect."

Happy Easter y'all!

4/16/17