Bad reputation

•Twelve•

•Shawn•

"What's a matter?" Brooke asked in a very high pitched voice. "I look at lot different than your mommy, don't I? Maybe I'll get to stick around for a while and we can get to know each other. Can I let you in on a little secret? In about 7 months, I'm going to have one of you and I'm completely terrified. I don't know how to change a diaper or feed a baby or anything like that. But I know one thing, I'm going to try and be the best mom I can be. Way better than my mom ever was. She was a meanie, but you're too young and innocent for that story. Maybe once he or she gets here, I'll know what I'm doing, hopefully. But there's still that question in the back of my head of what's going to happen when he grows up and asks about his dad. What am I supposed to say? I still have a few years to worry about how to answer that. Maybe Shawn, the big adorable goofball you're related to, will still be in my life and I won't have to worry about that." She had started crying while she was talking, but she was too focused on Emma and I didn't want to bother her.

"Hey mom, can I talk to you?" I asked walking into the kitchen. She wiped her hands on her apron and followed me out into the hall.

"What's up?" She asked.

"I just overheard Brooke talking to Emma. She's terrified of not knowing what to do when he gets here. Can you talk to Aunt Rachel about letting her babysit sometimes?" I asked. She smiled.

"You really like her don't you?" She said as her smile turned into a smirk. "I'll see what I can do." She said and walked back into the kitchen.

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It was around midnight when I woke up to get a drink. Brooke was sitting there eating a bowl of ice cream, scrolling on her phone. The only light in the room was the one coming from her screen. It illuminated her face in such a way that made it seem like it was glowing. She was, is beautiful. I stood there staring at her for a few more seconds before walking in.

"Couldn't sleep?" She asked as I grabbed a glass from the cabinet. I put it under the ice maker to get ice and water.

"I was just thirsty, you?" I asked sitting on the bar stool across from her.

"He was hungry and wanted ice cream." She said pointing her spoon down at her stomach. "But I'm going to be sick, more than I usually am, because ice cream makes my stomach swell. But I guess it's worth it." She took the last bite and ran some water in her bowl before placing it in the sink.

"So I'm an adorable goofball huh?" I asked raising an eyebrow.

"How did you-?"

"I may have overheard you talking to Emma earlier." I said. "Are you really terrified of all of that?" I asked standing up and placing my hands on her shoulders.

"I mean, yeah. Emma was the first baby I've ever held. I was freaking out the whole time. I kept thinking I was going to break her. She was just so tiny. And I kept picturing myself dropping my baby when he gets here and I still can't get the image out of my head. What if...what if I kill him? Or worse, what if he grows up and hates m-" as she began to panic, I gently grabbed her face between my hands and kissed her. She relaxed and placed her hands on my chest.

"You're going to be fine. Great even. And we're all going to be here to help you, everything is going to work out fine. I want you to hear me clearly as I say this, I'm always going to be here, okay?" She nodded and I lifted my thumbs up to wipe the tears from her eyes.

"Thank you." She said wrapping her arms around my waist and hugging me closely.

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"I'm being dead serious. My foreign language teacher called me up to the front of the class and made me have conversation with this weird kid that sits in the back. But he was speaking Spanish and I ended up speaking German. I have no idea how it happened." Brooke said laughing. We were sitting at Olive Garden with my parents and sister, waiting for our food.

"So what did you do?" My mom asked taking a bit of her breadstick.

"So I tried to remember anything I could think of in Spanish, and I ended up speaking French! My teacher finally just looked at me and told me I needed to stick to one language instead of four." She said taking a sip of her drink. "But I don't understand why I couldn't think of Spanish because my moms family was from Mexico. I learned Spanish before I learned English."

"That's quite a story. What about you Shawn? Anything interesting?" My dad asked.

"I have a pretty boring school schedule. Nothing's really going on with me." Which was wrong, I almost had to punch a guy today in my last block because he was talking shit about Brooke.

Brooke kind of glanced at me, she knew I was lying. It was one of the many things about her that I like, she can tell when people are lying.

I pulled my phone out from under the table and texted her I'll tell you later.

When her phone buzzed she looked down discreetly and read it. She "coughed" and nodded her head.

I just don't know if is should tell the whole truth.

Another (short) update. Woooo!

3/18/17