The Red

Chapter-18

Stella's p.o.v.

Continued..

My love, you were my favorite creation. But somehow, I had started to regret my decision. I could never make you happy as I had dreamed to. In fact, I couldn't even relieve your pain. Your small heart would cringe with agony and all I could do was watch you.

" I should have never left you awake.  I should have put you to sleep." I  told myself this again and again. But I  never had the courage to do so and I despise that coward part of me.

What could it be? What could bring you back to life? I looked for an answer. I sought for every possibility. 

Love. 

Yeah, the answer was love. You sought the answer by yourself. You tried to relieve your pain by yourself. 

But my child, I was against your will. Mating with a mere human would make you more human and you would enter the vicious cycle of life and death. 

How silly was I? I couldn't see the cause for the pain. You eternity was your agony. Your youth was your disease. Every blessings I bestow you was making you feel like a monster. 

 Despite my warnings, you didn't hesitate to give all you had to this man. You had finally found your happiness and you weren't ready to give up on it, no matter the price you have to pay. 

Child, that very day we cut our ties. You were now same as human and I couldn't bring myself to face you. All I could see on you was a dying human. 

I gave up on you and restored myself to the nirvana. Despite all those uproars, I closed my eyes and left the universe as it was. 

There was no tranquility left. But I didn't care about it. Sin, blood, violence and monsters were rising but I let them. I was tired, really tired. Or maybe I was in pain because I was losing you. 

I shouldn't have done that. I  shouldn't have let you as you wish to be. I should have restrained you from that mire. I regret turning blind eyes on you. I should have kept on observing you but my selfishness buried myself. 

While submerging on my own sorrow, child, I didn't think you would ask for the death on your own. Child, I lost you. 

I regret everything, my child! I really wish to pull you out of this vicious cycle but I am bound. You should escape it by yourself. I don't know what was your unfulfilled wish. Hence, I can't make it come true. I don't know the reason for your death wish. I neglected you. Therefore, I am not worthy to know it either. But if you really wish to escape this fate, you have to seek it yourself. 

I know it's cruel but you will be born with your red hair in every life. It means that you can never have a better life. 

So far, this is your twentieth life and you have been through a lot. Since I can't neglect the way you live but I can't also interfere in your fate, this is just a simple letter to you.  This is a letter of apologies and guilt that I bear for you. 

This is a letter to remind you that you aren't what people make out of you. You are my precious child and you always will be. Darling, unlike others you are the child of deity that adores you more that himself. You will always be my other half. 

"What's this?" I mumbled as I closed the book. All this time, I was reading this weird looking characters. I still couldn't believe I read the whole things.