Let It Snow

Chapter 32

[ Niall's POV ]

It was definetely going to take every ounce of courage in my tiny Irish body to do this... I think I feel my diner from last night coming up. I don't even know why I'm nervous; I shouldn't be. It's just Liam. My best friend since 2010. That's nothing new, right? I have known him since forever. He is like a brother to me. I can talk to him about anything and everything in the world. He just has that thing about him that makes me closer to him than the other boys. I should be completely fine with going to talk to him about this.. but I'm not.

Maybe it's because I actually am nervous. I glanced down at my forearm; it was covered in goosebumps. Why would I be so scared? I have never, ever, been worried to tell Liam something. Ever. So why now?

Maybe it's because we kissed.

Yeah, that has got to be it. I shouldn't have kissed him. Hm, that's funny because it is the opposite of our song.. Anyway, I feel extremely guilty about it now; Zayn, that is. I am supposed to be loyal to him. He is loyal to me, after all. Why can't I just sort myself out?

Great. I syched myself out and now I am even more nervous than I was before. I took a step back from the closed bathroom door and sighed. If I didn't confront Liam, I would never live this down. I have to do it. I just have to. No backing out, Niall! Get yourself together!

I could feel my fingers creep over to the brass door knob. Eh, I don't know about this.. Too late, man. I have to do this now. I gripped the handle with my sweaty and clammy palm and squeezed it, unsure as to if I should open it or not. Come on, Niall. Deep breaths. Deep breaths. Just calm yourself down, breath, and do not sych yourself out!

Suddenly, the handle was ripped from my grasp as it was being pulled backwards. I looked up in shock and pure surprise at Liam's pale face. He stood in the doorway, gazing at me in a confused manner.

"Niall? Did you want something?"

"Uh..." I stuttered out. Damn you, Niall. I am such a failure. This should be easy. I should be able to do this without a problem or doubt in my head. Why not now? "No. Just came to tell you we need to go."

"Okay. I was just coming out." He smiled down at me with that same famous smile. It made me flutter inside. Okay, I have officially come to the conclusion that I obviously still have feelings for this boy. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Huh?" I snapped out of my trance and gazed up at his muscular figure. Shit, Niall. "Oh, sorry.. Sorry."

He chuckled. "I don't think you got enough sleep last night, mate." Liam's comforting hand reached over and rubbed my back. It made me shiver slightly and sent a long line of chills down my spine. Liam, why do you do this to me?

"I didn't," I answered truthfully.

"Well, I guess the guys are waiting." Liam lightly nudged me. "Let's head out."

"Oh, right. Yeah, the boys. Let's go."

Oh, Niall! Fuck, fuck, fuck! What the hell is wrong with myself?! Why didn't I talk to him about it? Why was I being such a sissy. Why did I let myself sych myself out of it? Why can't I be the same around Liam anymore? I feel like a dumbass. No, I know I am a dumbass. I should have told Liam. I should have told him that we need to talk about it, even if he is acting like it never happened...

I heard Liam's feet hit the cold, paved ground behind me as we neared the limo thay was waiting outside of my flat. Even that simple sound of his footsteps made me happy. I don't know why, it just did. Like Louis and Harry; everything they do make each other happy. I want to be like that. I don't even understand myself anymore. If I seem to like Liam so much, why am I with Zayn? Why can't life be easier? Why did we ever agree to let Caroline, Rebecca, and...uh, Danielle into our concert? If we had said no, none of this would have ever happened. I'm not saying it's Zayn's fault or Danielle's fault; but...you know.