Only You (EDITING)

Prologue

"WHAT?! YOU'RE JUST SECOND? Mainit na nga ang ulo ko sa trabaho tapos dadagdagan mo pa? Don't you have any good news, ha?"

My body gradually shrank more and more throughout Mama's not-so-great litany. Just second? I gave my all to reach that far but them calling that achievement 'just' is a big insult. It's already a big deal for me but for them, if you're not at the top then it's either you work harder or accept you're a loser. Second best wasn't an option.

I get it. They want what's best for me and my future but a single congratulations wouldn't hurt. Wala akong narinig sa halip ay isang sermon pa.

What if this is my limit? Would they still insist I can do better?

"Who ranked first?" No. No. Mom's endless lecture of shortcomings is something I would prefer hearing rather than belittling my capabilities just because someone does it better. Someone will always do better than you. And that's normal.

"Aubri, tinatanong ka ng mama mo." Dad's words rumbled like distant thunder, filling the room with a deep, commanding presence. That was my cue card to answer the damn question.

"S-si Henry po."

"What?! Please tell me it's not Henry Garcia."

"He is."

"My God!" She rubbed her temple aggressively as if hearing that name gave her a severe headache. "Ano ba 'yan, Aubri! Why did you let him reach the top and take what's yours?"

But I didn't. I'd tried my hardest. It's not like I wanted this to happen. After I'd read his name on top of mine, I had a mental breakdown and even considered not going home today sa takot na makita ang ganitong reaction ni Mama. But where would I seek refuge? Nowhere. It's not like the girls would let me in. No way, they are not even on my list of options.

"And of all people, why him?"

At least, not Sabrina, I wanted to tell her. God, she would completely lose her mind if it was her who ranked first.

I know how competitive Mama is. She was a consistent top student, valedictorian in high school, and magna cum laude in college. She sure is hella smart, I'm fully aware of that. However, I am not her. And unfortunately, she's been trying to make me the second version of herself.

Hindi ako ganito. The competitiveness inside me was dormant. I was content with what I could do and whatever the results would be as long as I knew I worked hard for it. But Mama instilled in me that being easily contented is no good. So now, no matter how much I convince myself into believing that I'm happy with being second honor, may parte pa rin sa akin na hindi matanggap na nalagpasan ako ni Henry. It was the ego and dissatisfaction taking over.

"Kahit nga top five hindi niya maabot noon. And now he's top one! Dahil iyon sa pagsusumikap niya at dahil iyon sa kapabayaan mo!"

The waters started forming in my eyes. Before it pours down all over my cheeks, I managed to wipe them with the back of my hand. Masakit isipin na pinaghirapan ko kung ano yung narating ko ngayon tapos maririnig ko lang na naging pabaya ako.

How am I supposed to ignore that and not feel emotional?

"I will not attend your recognition!" she yelled and furiously walked out of the sala. Magsasalita pa sana ako ngunit hindi ko tinuloy dahil naisip ko, ano ba ang pinagkaiba kung tatanggapin ko o aangal ako, hindi ko naman mababago ang desisyon niya. Once she decided on something, it will always be final and no one can change her mind.

~♥~♥~♥~♥~

"CONGRATULATIONS, AUBRI," bati sa akin si Tita Evelyn, ang mama ni Sabrina. She had her lips curved upwards, her hand on my shoulder. The smile wasn't fake but it definitely wasn't genuine either.