"HOW'S SCHOOL?"
"School's okay." I'm not. That was my programmed response every time Mama asks me that question. I don't even remember the last time she checked on me and not on my studies. But would I answer honestly if she did?
Inaalam niya kung ano ang ginawa ko sa school, kung anong mga nangyari, kung may quizzes o activities ba, at kung ano ang nakuha kong score. Hindi rin niya pinapalagpas ang pagtatanong tungkol kay Sabrina. The constant comparison gave birth to a bunch of insecurities I have to myself. It was a torture I'm bound to live.
I kept myself from elaborating what I did with the other girls. You know it's fucked up when someone's child doesn't feel safe and comfortable opening up to her parents. Honestly, it sucks being her daughter.
"No review quizzes?" pang-uusisa pa niya. Two days after I was transferred to Section 1, we had a graded review quiz about last school year's lessons. It was unannounced so nobody saw it coming. Sabrina almost had it perfect while I got a terrible score. Mama wasn't pleased obviously.
The thing is, I don't believe I'm naturally smart. It's just because I'm a hard worker. I study hard and if I don't then I'm not expecting myself to answer questions, even the simple ones. I know nothing out of what I was taught at school and it can be so frustrating being illiterate in the real world.
I'm not studying to learn anymore. I'm memorizing words to answer the damn questions in every quiz and exam.
"Wala po."
"Aubri, I want you to tell me the—"
"It's just a normal day, Ma," I sighed. Ayaw ko kasi na parang tingin pa niya nagsisinungaling ako kahit totoo naman na wala talaga kaming ginawa. A week have just passed at puro discussions lang kami. Nagkataon lang talaga 'yon. And it looks like she will remember it for a long time and will keep reminding me of it.
"Okay then instead of scrolling through your phone, why don't you study in advance? Baka may surprise quiz bukas."
"I will."
Diretso kong binagsak ang katawan sa malambot na kama pagpasok ko sa room. Even just for a day, I hope she refrains from asking about my studies and Sabrina. It's really annoying. Para kaming mga sirang plaka.
I wasn't wasting my time scrolling through my phone! After all the textbooks I've read yesterday, I decided to take a break and check my social media but she caught me laughing at some funny videos and then accused me of anything she could think of. Nakakasama ng loob dahil napaka unfair!
Nakakawalang-gana. I need to buy something that can lift my mood. So I dragged myself and went to the bakery store where I usually buy Pan de Leche. Pan de Leche is and will always be my comfort food whenever I feel so down and think of skipping a meal. Tsaka hindi naman ako masyadong palakain. And no, I don't do diets. Nagkataon lang na mabilis ang metabolism ko.
Tsaka Pancit Canton... Naglalaway na tuloy ako nang makakita ng Pancit Canton na nakadisplay sa isang store.
The appetite to eat the dinner that she cooked left my body after that brief conversation. After years of living life as her daughter, I got used to it but that doesn't mean that it won't affect me anymore. Sometimes, I wanna forget my responsibilities and live my life without anything to worry about. I want to enjoy my high school life.
Sabi nila high school ang pinakamasaya sa lahat, pero bakit hindi ko maramdaman iyon?
But no matter how much I try to have fun, my conscience starts to get in the way. It's like being in an outing without asking your parents for permission so you don't fully enjoy the moment because you know there's a consequence waiting for you when you get home.
YOU ARE READING
Only You (EDITING)
Teen Fiction(Lucky Academy #1) -Aubri Victoria Silvestre - Aubri's life is full of competition and pressure. She never had a fun childhood because, at a young age, she was conditioned to be the greatest and to excel in school academics. Fortunately, few people...
