Only You (EDITING)

Chapter 11

AS EXPECTED, THE FOUR OF US geared up for the nearing disaster and wasted no time preparing for the upcoming elimination. Though the exact date remained uncertain, I know it's just around the corner. If they follow the same format then I guess it's on the last week of the month. And I better hurry up because it's already the second week of September.

We decided to go our separate ways every lunch and free time dahil oras namin iyon sa pagre-review. To an outsider, it looked like a big fight had happened kaya hindi kami magkakasama ngayon. But the reason was just far less dramatic—Mathletes's elimination. Lucky Academy has a reputation for consistently bagging multiple Mathletes Tournament trophies so it's kinda big deal to be able to represent the school and at the same time, contribute to the school's legacy.

Some could say we could review together but we don't do that. Kahit nga exams at summative tests hindi kami nagre-review ng sabay, ito pa kaya? Sa totoo lang, sa tuwing nakikita ko silang nagsusunog ng kilay para lang mapabilang sa Mathletes ay para akong tinatamaan ng kidlat. Everyone can see the determination in their eyes. Walang magpapatalo at walang kaibi-kaibigan.

If I'm not ready enough then that opportunity will be given to someone. Thinking about this adds up the pressure that I'm carrying all over again. I've secured a spot for six years already! Dapat hindi na ako natatakot. But, no. The fear that I might lose it one day won't leave me alone. Hindi biro ang magmaintain at kapag hindi ako nakuha, ano nalang ang sasabihin ng lahat? Lalo na ng magulang ko?

Sabrina was seated at the empty table across, munching on fried peanuts. Both of us have been Mathletes for six years already. Interestingly, we both share almost the same pressure and life story since Sabrina's also an only child. We would relate to each other, sharing the same sentiments. Kaya lang, ni isang beses ay hindi namin iyon napag-usapan. Sayang, we could've been there for each other knowing we have felt the same pain and experience. Maybe Sabrina's right. We've been friends for so long yet we haven't even opened up.

On the contrary, Annette's an inconsistent one. Minsan nakakasama minsan naman hindi. Most of the time, Marcella takes over the last spot and Vicky at other times. Lately, it's been Henry. Basically, the third spot is open for everyone who's got the strongest luck. But both Sabrina and I know we cannot be too relaxed.

As for Shaeilan, she's been wanting to be part of the Mathletes ever since she transferred here in fifth grade. Ngunit kahit kailan ay hindi pa siya nasasama. I really wish the four of us could participate in the competition but sadly, Mathletes only have three spots.

I started studying my notes when I saw the other two in my peripheral vision. All of us are so far from each other. This scene happens yearly yet I'm still not used to it. And I don't think I will. Pakiramdam ko may kulang sa katawan ko.

Being an only child, I treat my friends as my siblings. Kaya habang tumatagal ay mas natatakot ako sa kanila. They could just throw you under the bus and you wouldn't see it coming. All I could do is hope that my thoughts are wrong, that I'm just seeing things way too much.

Nakarinig ako ng hagikhik ng magbabarkada hindi kalayuan mula dito. I miss my friends. It's been a week. Boring na nga ang buhay ko mas naging boring pa dahil hindi ko sila nakakasama.

"Aubri, concentrate. Stop thinking things that aren't related to Math. You can do this, Aubri. You. Can. Do. This." I reminded myself. Kung saan-saan na naman lumilipad ang isip ko.

"Yakang-yaka mo 'yan. Ikaw pa." Sa sulok ng mata ko ay nakita ko ang isang lalaki na umupo sa harap. I ignored him and continued minding my own business.

I have recapped the basics for two days, and the remaining is me trying to study the more complex Maths. Next week baka pag-aaralan ko na ang hindi pa na-take up na lessons. If I have time maybe I'll also study the higher-grade lessons. Sana nga lang hindi dumugo ilong ko.