Only You (EDITING)

Chapter 18

THIS MORNING IS THE FIRST FLAG CEREMONY of this school year together with the recognition of the official Mathletes to everybody. Originally, I planned not to show up but then I realized it's much more humiliating if they don't see me there. They'll paint me as this bitter and grudging bitch who couldn't accept defeat and let the results consume her. Technically, the last part is kinda true.

I had to be there and act unbothered. Pretend that it was an opportunity I wasted away just to give others a chance. Perhaps it's the embarrassment built by my pride that is keeping me from sincere happiness.

"Good morning, students." A deep voice echoed through the covered court. "It is an honor to be the Mathletes' tutor and coach. To witness their potential and hard work brings meaning to my work as a teacher. Now that the search for the new Mathletes is over..." My classmates are side-eyeing me, already anticipating my name to be called up there.

"I proudly announce this school year's Mathletes players." Nagpalakpakan ang lahat nang tawagin ni Sir Franko ang mga pangalan nila. My classmates were waiting for me to march on stage at ganon na lang ang gulat, taka, at pagkalito nila nang makitang sina Andrei, Shaneila, at Henry ang nasa tabi ni Sir.

Para akong nagka-PTSD nung panahong sinabi ko kay Mama ang result ng elimination nang makita ang reaksyon ng mga classmates at schoolmates ko. It still lingered with me even when a few weeks had already passed. I imagined her to lash out but instead, she chose to keep her words from herself. And I'd rather choose to take her usual insults like a broken record than her haunting silence. I couldn't read her mind and I disliked it.

"Let's give them a round of applause." Everyone followed. "And let's pray that my students will be able to continue the winning strike from the past contestants who unfortunately couldn't retain one more year."

Their eyes slid onto me again. That's right, you all should be thanking me and Sabrina. We contributed to that winning streak. And now, we're not even at the stage.

"That concludes our flag ceremony. Now, enjoy your first day of school."

"Enjoy? Paano kami mage-enjoy kung balikan na ng klase," pagmamaktol nitong katabi kong si Vicky habang naglalakad kami papunta sa classroom. "Anong nangyari, mhie? Bakit 'di ka nakasali eh consistent Mathlete player ka naman?"

My mouth fell open. I couldn't find the words to explain what truly happened without the fear of being judged. Her potential words are already resonating in my head. Nang dahil lang kay Andrei hindi ka nakasali? Ano 'yon, umatras ang talino mo?

"That's the way of life. You fail, you succeed, you get through it." Funny how I can't even apply my own words to myself. I was conditioned to be the best and when I tasted a drop of its opposite, it brought disorder to my head.

"Paano na ang grade level natin ngayon kung yung score mo ang laging nagpapanalo sa team?"

"They've got it. Their scores are much higher than mine during the elimination so they'd probably have a higher chance of bringing victory to the school than the old Mathletes can. Plus, it's a teamwork. I can't let myself take all the credit."

Sir Franko was the last one to set foot in the classroom. He positioned himself behind a lectern stand, wearing a very commanding presence that made everyone rush to their seats and fix their postures, eyes straight at him.

"I am Franko Cabrera. Your adviser, Basketball and Mathletes coach," he introduced himself in a monotone voice. Pinapunta niya rin sa harap ang nag-iisang transferee para magpakilala. Actually, we weren't expecting any since malapit na kaming mag senior high.

"Let's not waste another minute. Get your bags and I will assign you to your seats."

"First day na first day, Sir, tsaka Grade 10 na po kami, kailangan pa rin po ba ng seating arrangement?" Anette said. Most of my classmates nodded in unison.