Until you are mine

4. Misunderstanding

" Hi, Yna. Gusto mo bang ihatid na kita pauwi?"

Kumunot iyong noo ko matapos kong makilala ang nagmamay-ari ng boses na iyon. I tried smiling although I was feeling awkward. I was never good with meeting or making conversation with strangers. I looked at Matt and I tried thinking of something to say to him pero hindi talaga ako makapag-isip. We we're inside the university café, I was reviewing for my exams while sipping a cup of coffee when suddenly he came out of nowhere and sat beside me.

Matt have always been around me pero ayoko sa kanya. He's very vocal about his feelings for me but I have never given much thought about it – hindi ko siya gusto. Bilang kaibigan siguro, oo, pero iyong mas higit pa doon, ayoko. I'm not yet ready for that...

I like to think that I'm not ready because I was waiting...

Waiting for that masked man who kissed me at my eighteenth birthday almost two weeks ago. Hindi na talaga ako naka-move on mula nang gabing iyon. Nakakapanghinayang dahil hindi ko siya nakilala pero kung mauulit muli iyon – makikilala ko ang bawat hagod ng labi niya. I sighed. Just thinking about him makes me want to look for him...

Sabagay nakita ko naman na siya – alam ko kung sino siya pero hindi ko siya pwedeng tanungin dahil ayokong masaktan si Ate Yza. I know for a fact that the masked man who kissed me is my sister's boyfriend – si Zachary Drew. Nang magsimula iyong debut – I looked for him and I was right, he was wearing the same mask the masked man wore that moment. I sighed. Naguluhan lang ako noon – why would ZD kiss me? Why would he say those things to me? Mula nang gabing iyon ay palagi ko na siyang napapaniginipan. It was a good dream until it turned to a nightmare – one night, I dreamed of ZD, he was kissing me. But when he took his mask off – I saw Kuya Yllak's face.

Napabalikwas ako nang bangon noon. Kabang-kaba ako at hindi ko maintindihan kung bakit ako nakadama nang ganoon. Hindi ko alam kung bakit napasok sa panaginip ko si Kuya Yllak. I don't talk to him. I never even looked at him since he came back. Noong nag-announce ng engagement si Kuya Yto sa harap ng buong pamilya, Kuya Yllak was there, but he seemed to be avoiding me. Ang awkward lang talaga. Buti nga at hindi napapansin nila Nanay at Tatay ang hindi naman pag-uusap o sadyang sanay na lang sila na walang interaction na nangyayari sa aming dalawa.

"Yna..."

Matt's voice brought me back to reality. I smiled at him again. "What were you saying?"

"Tinatanong kita kung uuwi ka na ba. Ihahatid kita."

"No, I mean huwag na." Tumayo ako at kasabay nang pagtayo ko ay kinuha ko na isa-isa ang mga gamit ko. "May sundo ako. Baka nandyan na iyong driver ko." Ngumiti muli ako sa kanya. He just made a face.

"Kahit sana hanggang sa kotse mo lang." Sabi niya sa akin. "Gusto lang kitang makasama, Yna. Please..." He gave me those eyes again – those puppy dog eyes na alam yata niya na hindi ko matatanggihan kapag ipinakita na niya sa akin. I pouted my lips. Napilitan akong tumango. Wala akong nagawa nang kunin ni Matt sa akin ang mga gamit ko. We walked side by side inside the university. Nakikipagkwentuhan siya sa akin habang nakatingin lang ako sa kanya. He was telling me about his football team. Si Matt ang team captain ng Red Hawks – iyong official football team ng university namin. Hindi ko pa siya napapanood maglaro but my classmates says that he;s very good at it.

"Yna, manood ka ng game minsan and if I win, I'll dedicate the game to you. You'll be my lucky charm."

Nanlaki ang mga mata ko. I was never anybody's lucky charm. Pinili ko na lang tumawa dahil hindi ko alam kung anong sasabihin ko. Lumiko kami at makalipas ang ilang saglit narating na naming ang parking lot. Pilit kong tinatanaw ang kotseng palagiang sumusundo sa akin pero wala pa iyon. Huminga na lang ako ng malalim at patuloy na nakinig kay Matt.