Until you are mine

27. Yvo's advice

A month later...

Natatandaan ko noong minsan – si Ate Niki. She was crying inside Ate yza's room. They were talking about Kuya Yto and I just happened to pass by and then I heard Ate Nikita said: Kailan ba ako makakatulog nang hindi iniiyakan si Yto? Ang sakit-sakit."

I didn't know what kind of pain she was talking about back then – but right now as I lay on my bed – looking at my ceiling. I now, know what she was talking about. Loving a Consunji hurt pretty bad. Para kang kumuha ng bato na ipupukpok sa ulo mo nang paulit-ulit pero hindi mo naman mabitiwan dahil mahal mo. Mahal ko si Yllak. Mahal ko siya pero kailangan kong pigilin ang sarili ko dahil hindi pwede.

I wiped my tears when I heard a knock on my door. I sat up and stood up para buksan ang pinto. Nabungaran ko si Ate Yza. Ngiting-ngiti siya sa akin. She looked prettier now. Wala na ang lungkot sa kanyang mga mata. Genuine na ang happiness na nakikita ko sa kanya. Her eyes were glittering with so much joy. I smiled back at her. Nang ngumiti ako ay nawala naman ang ngiti niya. She sighed. Hinawakan niya ako sa balikat at saka biglang niyakap. I don't know if she knew but it was as if she that I am hurting. Hinawakan niya ang kamay ko at saka pinakatitigan ako. Hindi ko alam kung anong gusting sabihin ni Ate sa akin pero titig na titig siya. After touching my face and caressing my hair, she sighed.

"It will pass, baby..." She told me. Napakagat ako ng labi. She knows. I wonder if Yllak told her. I sighed. Mula nang araw na iyon ay hindi ko na nakita o nakausap si Yllak. Gusto ko siyang makita, kahit sa malayo lang pero natatakot ako na baka saktan niya akong muli sa oras na magkaharap kami. Hindi ko na alam kung kakayanin ko pang makita siya. I knew that I have hurt him and even though I have loved him – hindi ko na mabubura sa isip niya ang nagawa ko. Ganoon pa rin ang iisipin niya. Wala akong magagawa kundi tanggapin na wala na kami – at iyon ay lahat dahil sa akin.

I am a coward but if being a coward means seeing my brother happy – I'd be a coward again and again.

"Thank you ate." Sabi ko na lang. Magsasalita pa sana siya nang bigla na lang sumulpot si Kuya mula sa likuran ni Ate Yza.

"How are my two favorite girls?" He asked with that smile – napangiti na rin ako. Natutuwa rin ako kapag nakikita ko siyang ganoon kasaya.

"Daddy! How about me?!" Napahagikgik si Ate Yza. Kinarga ni Kuya Hector si Hyan at hinagkan sa pisngi.

"Of course, you're my number one girl." He said while looking at his daughter.

"But how about Mama?" She asked again.

"Mama is my queen." He winked at Ate Yza. Hinampas ni Ate si Kuya sa braso tapos ay nagtawanan sila. Natawa na rin ako. Hindi ko alam kung bakit kahit nasasaktan ako ay napapawi naman ang kalungkutan ko tuwing nakikita ko silang dalawa.

"Kiddo, join us for breakfast." He said. I nodded. Umalis na silang dalawa kasama si Hyan. I saw Ate wrapped her arms around Kuya Hector. They looked so good together. I finally could see the two of them happy. They both deserve each other. Ilang buwan na lang naman ang bibilangin ay magpapakasal na sila hindi ko alam kung nagpropose nab a si Kuya kay ate pero palaging ikinukwento ni Kuya sa akin ang mga balak niya.

I fixed myself before joining them for breakfast. Naghalf-bath lang ako dahil Sabado naman noon at walang pasok sa office. I plan to stay at home – inside my room – all day and rethink about the memories I had with Yllak back in Greece – my happiest weekend happened in Greece.

Dati, Greece is my second home – but now, Greece is the place where I am happiest. Naisip kong bumalik doon – kahit isang linggo lang ulit. Para lang maibsan ang pagka-miss ko kay Yllak.