RANDOM CRAP: (AND MORE!!!)

Why I Can't Ship Jessa

-Will contain spoilers for TID-

-I may get details wrong cuz I can't remember perfectly-

Hai. This is an explanation for why I don't ship Jessa and why it's a bad idea.

Voila.

So. I think I loved (in a platonic way) Jem Carstairs in the beginning. I remember being really worried about an impending love triangle in CA, because it kinda says that in the flap on the cover (also I believe from the flap on the cover I could tell that I preferred Will), but really, Jem was just the nice friend who calmed Will down and was nice to everyone and played a violin.

It freaked me out when Tessa met him for the first time in his ROOM, but whatever. Will arrived on the scene just in time, right?

Anyway, there was the blood et holy aqua thing, and when Will finds Tessa and thinks she's dead-sob, swoon, the feels-and she isn't, etc. So at that time I was still okay with Jem 'cause he wasn't showing any love (like, romantic, sexy love, to quote Robert Sheehan) to Tessa. So I was okay.

Of course there was that whole Shadowhunters-can't-date-warlocks shit conversation from Will, and that scared me... but whatever, I knew they'd be okay. And Jem wasn't in the way.

I thought the love triangle in the summary was just for publicity or something. Ha. *bitter laugh*

But then, if memory serves, in CP1 he started to show some... feelings for Tessa. Gulp. It didn't seem like much at first but then I was like, okay, Will's not happening so. Shit, she's taking Jem. Fickle little chocolate hater...

Anyway, I think it was a scene at night when Jem was facing issues with the amounts of medication and, I guess Tessa goes to see how he is...

I can't actually remember how it happened, but they somehow went from innocent touches and cute tours of London to full on making out-like, really making out. Practically one step to the big thing. (Of course I wouldn't know cuz I'm not yet 14... and have never had a boyfriend... ahem.). Plus, they knocked over a crapload of poor Jemmy's meds. Whoops.

So, okay, what the actual hell happened to Jem Carstairs and his gentle slowness????

Plus, Jessa is so... easy. No interesting bickering, just lame exchanges of sentimental shit in Chinese (no offence to Chinese people I'm just telling you what they do).

But Wessa...

Anyway, their relationship seemed to go backwards from there. They stuck to kissing in carriages (Jessamine caught them, haha!)

Somewhere along the way, Will and Tessa, who were, in a way, intoxicated by pixie drinks or something, and also made out. Not on a bed. And they'd kissed before, and talked about books, by the angel, how perfect, so it was okay for them, yeah? Yeah.

And then-and then, Jem proposes. After a book's length of romance, partially dedicated to his desired fiancée's going off with another guy... so, that was like, a week? Or something. And he proposes. What went through my mind at the time?

Shit, shit, shit, shit, f---...

And at that point Will explains why he's been an arse to Tessa, and then she tells him he's too late, blah blah blah, break up with Jem already, you idiotess.

Another thing: Jem is so sensitive. He's wonderful like that. But somehow he manages to be oblivious to the fact that Tessa and Will are in love and just perfect together. And Tessa is like me, and won't say no to a dying man. Aha! Another thing. Selfish of him to ask her to marry a dying man. Yes, I remember his argument and all that shit but. Oh. God. Poor. Tess.

Okay, so now in CP2. A bunch of crap with wedding dresses and worms, and then Will and Tessa had an alone conversation in the library. Whenever those two are alone, I feel like screaming, 'KISS!!!!'

Of course if someone heard me that could go badly.

Yeah.

Anyway, all Jem and Tessa do is kiss and say lame sentimental things in Chinese. The only interesting thing about what they say to each other is that it's in Chinese. Will can say cool things and still say them in English.

And he says incredible things in Welsh, too. I'm still bugging my mum to teach me Welsh. And my dad.

So, anyway, Jem basically gets really sick halfway through and Tessa gets kidnapped. Then Jem dies, Will goes out to find her, they reunite steamily-with yours truly celebrating the return of Wessa the whole time-and Tessa gets to see his Welsh dragon tattoo-lucky duck-, and they're happy.

Okay so there was something wrong with that. Sure, have sex while your friend just died! YOLO, right?

But Wessa creates instant forgiveness.

Anyway, then Jem becomes a Silent Brother... Zachariah, no?

And I'm happy.

And Will proposes.

And I'm very happy.

And Wessa gets married.

And I'm very, very happy.

They created sexy Jace!!!

Fangirls everywhere are even happier.

So is Clary, btw, but Simon's kinda pissed at the whole thing.

Okay whatever Robert Sheehan's the hottest guy in that whole movie btw...

Sorry, going off-topic...

*clears throat* So. When Will dies, Tessa is heartbroken and sad and I guess she goes to see Magnus.

Oh yeah, him... he kissed Will. Ew, Will is not allowed to kiss anyone other than Tessa.

Actually I laughed at that part.

And then in like 2008/09, Tessa and Jem meet up. Like, OH! Jem's not a Silent Brother!! What happened there?
And then he and Tessa kiss, I think...

Tessa Herondale. Yeah so her hubby's dead. Still, too soon, Jemmy!

And so I wasn't sure about that ending. Isn't it impossible to become a human again after being a Silent Brother?

Cassie, darling, you can't just do anything to make your Jessa shippers happy.

Okay?

Okay.

...................................................

And now you should understand why I dislike Jessa.

And Wessa is better. That is fact.

Your argument is invalid, bitches.

(Not that you're bitches but I'm trying out the whole Alison DiLaurentis thing. Heh heh. It doesn't work, eh?)

Thanks for reading this insanely long explanation/rant.
Toodles!