WITH YOU....

Chapter 14: The True Feelings ( Louisa)

I was away from all my troubles and worries. And most importantly i was with Will. I was finally with him. Finally i was with him. I had to talk to him. I had to talk to him about the differences. But at the same time i knew that he wasn't the same person he said he used to be. I didn't want any justification. I could see it.  I really could and i trusted him. I always did and always will. I had to. And i always will. But i wanted to talk to him about this. Oh God ! Why is all this so complicated ?!. I was a terrible diplomat!. I really had no idea what i was supposed to do.

I wanted to be clear and honest with him . I wanted to be myself with him. I want to tell him," how much you mean to me, and to thank you for coming into my life. You are something I never thought could exist for me. You are the best thing that has ever happened in my life, and I don't regret telling you how I feel.

I have been through many relationships, but didn't really take any of them seriously. I was used and abused by a guy who I really loved once. So I decided to play guys the same way that guys had played me. I wasn't born nasty; a guy made me this way. Since then I have not taken chances with a guy again. But you happened; you came into my life and stole my heart away from the day I met you.

At first I was confused. I didn't really know what I wanted. I didn't know if I wanted to take a chance again and actually take you seriously. So, I decided to come close to you as a friend and find out who you truly were first and what you were really like. You seemed cool, nice, and funny--some things I really liked in a guy. So I took a chance and got together with you.

In the beginning, things didn't seem to go very well. I actually had my doubts about you, and I wasn't sure you were actually taking me seriously. But it was too late to turn back. I had already fallen for you from the day I first met you, and I wasn't really looking forward to giving up so soon. I tried so hard to know you. I wasn't going to let you go so easily!

Well, time has passed, and I have discovered new things about a new me. You have truly changed me. Still, I'm scared, because I'm growing a deep feeling inside my heart that I just can't explain. I truly don't know what your feelings are, but I don't want to force you to tell me something you don't really feel towards me. I want to receive love and trust from you when you truly mean it. All I ask of you is to show me that you care for me, and to also trust me the way I trust you". I so want to tell him this.  But I don't know how.  I really don't. All i know is that i love him and i want to be with him.