Hamilton one-shots {Requests open!}

It Feels Easier To Just Swim Down.. (Eliza)

Dear Whomever may find this note,

I am feeling utterly ashamed, angry, and heartbroken. If you are wondering why, I'm sure you read it.

Yes, I mean the Reynolds Pamphlet. My "loving" husband cheated on me while I was away to see my father. I had my children with me as well. But I'm sure you know that. 

I've decided to take myself out of Alexander's narrative he's writing himself. I won't let anyone know how I feel about his betrayal.

Only whoever you are, will know.

I pray that it is not you Alexander,  or even one of my children.
I pray that, Alexander, if you do find this letter, you do not publish it.

Alexander?  Where you thinking? Were you thinking when you lead her to our bed? Were you thinking when you paid Mr. Reynolds? Were you thinking when you told  Mr. Jefferson, Mr. Madison and Mr. Burr your dirty secret?  Were you thinking when you published that terrible pamphlet?

You were always thinking...why weren't you thinking then? You always were so smart, but then you were so stupid! You were always so bright, but then you were so dark!

I loved you Alexander!  I loved you more than your hand could ever write down!

Oh...do you remember all of those notes you wrote me? I burned them. I burned them all, and then, I burned that stupid pamphlet.

Oh, you mentioned about moving uptown.. Why do you want to go there now? I begged you to come with us ealier, so did Angelica!

Angelica hates you Alexander. She's read what you've done... She says that I should leave you behind....but..I can't.

Do you know why Alexander?  Because I love you. I'm a loyal wife. I don't know what I would do without you Alexander but...

You have pushed me way to far! You have made my worst nightmare become reality.

So sure. I'll move uptown. I'll be closer to my sister and my father. So do not think I'm going to please you.

But we are not moving right away. Oh no. You're going to wait until I can stand in the same room as you. That will take time.

You know what? Philip asked me something today. He asked, "When will pa be home?" Do you know what I responded.

"Your father will be home when he puts us first and his legacy second."

Did that hurt Alexander? Did it hurt reading that.

Wait- I forgot. Hopefully you'll never find this letter. Hopefully no one will ever read this.

I'm dearly sorry if you did. I had to write my feelings down. But I certainly didn't publish them!

If you find this, put it back where you found it. Please, don't tell anyone. It would make me happy. And lately, I could use some happiness.

Written with tears,

Eliza Hamilton

Footsteps sounded behind her. "Angelica what are you reading?" Eliza...