Title: Basic Unfair Murder
Author: @sexywhitegirlninja
Genre: Horror/Fanfiction
Rating: 7.0
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Hi Quinncy! Interesting story line you’ve got. Honestly, I was a bit confused about when the horror would come in, but you definitely got it there. Quite a plot twist, if you could call it that, with chapter five. (;
About your cover, it’s really not the best. You’ve got a good picture of Harry in it, but the font is very difficult to read. Due to the shadowing/outlining the text looks very sloppy. Also, the little bit at the bottom that says ‘Where’s your little blonde now?’ is incredibly hard to read so most people won’t even notice it. Instead of putting that there, you really should have your username! However, it works for the time being.
I didn’t notice any verb agreement issues or big grammatical errors! Your spacing is great, along with your punctuation. I would just recommend going back in a scanning once more for any typos.
Well, I’m not sure if you could really call this a summary because I don’t want to give away any big parts of the story that have happened so far! I have to say, the detail in your writing is nice to see. In certain sections, however, less is more. Don’t feel compelled to write down every object/action that is going on in a scene. It makes it seem like you’re telling them what’s happening rather than showing/creating the scene. The hospital scene in chapter five is a bit… bland though. There are so many different aspects to the places and you seem to have skipped right over them. Other than those things, I think your story is quite interesting. Although at this point it comes off as more of a thriller than a horror theme.
I’ve rated your story as a 7.0 because it isn’t compelling yet. I’m not drawn into reading the next chapter even though the writing is good. There is no foreshadowing in the first few chapters, which can make a reader frustrated. It’s fun to guess and predict what is going to happen and it’s hard to do that with your story. However, the plot is good and it can definitely go places. Keep up your confidence and let me know what you think below. x
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RandomBook Reviews for all types/genres of books. [special thanks to @olaywahle for the cover.] I started this book due to an overwhelming number of requests in my private messages. I really want to see how this goes from a literary perspective. Anyone an...
