My bloodsucking best friend

Chapter Twelve

The evanescent moment fades faster than it came, but it feels just like an eternity of misery.
The next thing I know is that I shut down my brain and let my survival instincts take over as I run out of the apartment as fast as possible, luckily with my shoes on, but no jacket, phone or wallet.
I'm down the hallway and out of the apartment with the door slammed behind me within a matter of seconds, but it's long enough for Andy to stop me several times.
But he doesn't.
I take the stairs panting and almost fall down, but keep up my pace until the entire apartment block is behind me, and I don't stop there. Without a car or any money on me, the variety of places where I can go is limited and the bar is out of question, so as I distance myself from what I call home, I can't help but start to cry.
The sadness and sorrow take over, gripping me tightly and pulling me down into a dark place I don't know how to get out of again. It's the middle of the day and embarrassing to cry in public while walking down a street, but I muffle my sobs with my sleeves, let my long hair hide my face at least partly while keeping my head down and don't give a damn about people who notice it anyway. 

Stuck deeply in my own despair, I head for the only place that comes to my mind: My friend Alexis'. She's the only girl I'm befriended with who lives off campus too, and we actually only got so close because she was the only one who didn't constantly fawn over Andy. Every girl wants him and that's extremely annoying, so hearing her express her dislike after they said hello to each other for the first time was a great relief.
I later found out that she is a lesbian anyway and would never want to fuck my best friend, and at that point, we were already half friends and complaining about Andy's attitude together.

Fervently hoping that she's home because it's Sunday, I head to her place by foot which is luckily not too far away. The shabby monochrome building nobody has bothered to renovate in at least twenty years rises into the sky like the forgotten legacy from long bygone times, and as always, the air reeks of cold smoke as soon as I step inside because the signs that prohibit smoking were only placed here a few years ago and cigarettes used to litter the dirty floor before that, making it impossible to get the smell out of the old walls now.

As always, I rush to get past all the rotten corners and rundown apartments until I reach Alexis'. She opens up after a few seconds I spend shaky and nervously and looks very surprised, which is relatable.
"What the hell are you doing here, Lil?" she speaks her mind after giving me a quick usual hug and stepping aside to let me enter.
I obviously can't tell her the real story, so I'll just use an innocent and censored version of it which I don't really consider lying, but protecting Andy's secret. "Andy and I got into a fight," I confess and immediately head for the kitchen because I strongly crave coffee. 

"Such a terrible one that you couldn't even call before coming?"
"I forgot my phone," I half lie and watch Alex cross her arms in front of her chest while leaning against her kitchen counter, her forehead wrinkled in confusion. 
"But how will he know that you're here?" she asks while I pour coffee into two mugs, not even bothering to ask because it's how we always handle it. Andy's and my kitchen is bigger, but hers is much warmer because it's bright and colorful, making you happy as soon as you enter. 
"He won't," I sharply say, sounding much more aggressive than I intended to, and Alex raises her eyebrows at me.
"You guys always fight, but what on earth was so horrible this time?"

I just shake my head and sit down at the table, shoving her mug across the wooden plate until she grabs it and we both sip from our hot coffee that's a true remedy for my frazzled nerves.
"It just... Spun out of control, I guess," I vaguely say and stare at the porcelain in my hands. Alex sighs. "Hey, you can always come here when you need me, but you have to talk to me." 
"Are you even free today?" I assure myself because I don't want to bother her if she's busy.
"Just the laundry that must be done, but I have time."
"I can..."
"Talk to me, Lily."

This time, I'm the one to sigh because I don't know if I even want to, and if so, where I'm supposed to start and stop.
"We had a party at our place yesterday," I choose to begin slowly and keep my eyes on the table, but I can hear the lack of understanding in her voice. 
"You?" she asks, the disbelief lacing her words so thickly that I'm almost offended.
When I give her a dirty look, she raises her hands in surrender.
"I didn't mean it like that. It's just... You and house parties? It never seemed to be your thing," she defends her choice of words and I have to agree with that.
"Well, it wasn't," I mumble, "But Andy... He made me do it."
"You should have at least invited me," Alex pouts and I clench my jaw because she's obviously ignorant enough to not give a damn about my problem.
"Really? That's all you care about?"
She rolls her eyes at my anger and wraps her hands around the cup of coffee.
"I'm just saying. Just tell me what happened."
"Sure you don't want to know what drinks we had first?" I sarcastically snap and she wisely chooses to ignore that. After a few seconds of silence, I give in and continue.
"I don't really know what was going on with me, to be honest," I quietly confess, "But I had this thought that I had to prove myself somehow, you know?"
"In front of whom?" Alex digs, the curiosity written all over her face.
"Andy," I answer without meeting her eyes because I feel my cheeks flushing.
"But you guys have been best friends for years," she objects, "Why did you think you had to prove yourself?"
"It's just..." I try to find the right words, but I don't know what to say.
"I'm not sure what I was thinking last night," I finally speak the truth. "There was the alcohol and Andy's friends and I felt like he was embarrassing me, making me look like his little party pooping sober sister, you know?"
Alex presses her hand on her mouth to suppress her laughter and I shoot her a furious glance.
"Anyway," I continue nevertheless, "He made me look like a child and then said I was embarrassing him or something, so I got mad and... left."
"You left?" she asks in disbelief and I wish I didn't have to nod.
"You don't even want to know where I went," I promise her and a smile appears on her lips.
"Believe me when I tell you that I now want to know it more than anything."
"My memory is a bit hazy and blurred, and some parts are missing," I warn her, unintentionally sparking her interest even more.
So I tell her everything I still know about last night, from karaoke to the free drinks to waking up in custody, and after a few minutes, I feel my reluctance turn into relief because of how good it feels to finally talk about all of it without fearing the other person's reaction.

"And when we got home from the police department, all the anger, disappointment and frustration kind of came to a boil and with our hangovers adding to the mix, we got into this huge fight and... I just had to leave immediately. I couldn't stand looking at him," I finish my story leaving out the bloody parts.
Alex stays silent for a moment, causing me to shift uncomfortably in my chair, until she finally concludes: "You two are total idiots."

"You should have majored in psychology instead," I mutter sarcastically, but Alex ignores my remark and asks the question that makes my stomach twist instead: "But what are you going to do about this whole thing now?"