My bloodsucking best friend

Chapter Thirty

I take the horrible shuttle bus for losers back to campus in the afternoon to attend another lecture and hang out at the library for a while, mostly failing at studying and paying attention, but at least I'm trying and away from home, and on my way back by foot that seems to take hours, I grab a few groceries as well and carry them to our apartment to prep some quick dinner, half of me hoping Andy will be there and the other half hoping he won't, but all rooms are deserted and I turn on some music to save myself from the unsettling silence that makes my insecure thoughts scream even louder.

Accompanied by my comfort food and a drink, I spend a while in the soundless kitchen without paying attention to my clock until slow, but steady steps approach and stop at the entrance. He could choose to move without making it possible for a human ear to process, but he lets me know he's coming and I don't know if that's a good thing. "I don't want to talk to you yet," I say without looking up and shove another spoonful into my mouth.

"Yet?" he repeats slowly, obviously confused, and stops in the doorframe. 

"I'm not ready yet," I admit and he is taken aback, but there is no anger audible. "You need to be ready to talk to me?"

"Kind of, yeah," I emotionlessly reply and continue eating, and he is hesitant to enter the room and uncomfortably shifts his weight from his right to his left foot. "Um, may I ask why? Cause, you know, this is fucking weird and you're not making sense."

Sighing, I take a moment to put down the fork and officially resign from my plan to take this slow and finish my meal first because he's too annoying. "I've been thinking about keeping this apartment... to myself," I state my case. "There. I said it."

"You... what?" His feet automatically transport him to the table where he freezes in front of me, his eyes so wide they might pop out of his head any moment and his jaw dropped, and I'm not sure if I expected him to be this surprised.Andy needs a few seconds to pull himself together and I grant those to him and wait for him to react. 

"You want to... throw me out?" The disbelief is still unmissable.

"I've just been considering it," I mumble defensively and avoid his piercing glance by picking up the fork again and poking around in my bowl without managing to actually eat anything.

"But you've been considering... throwing me out?" he repeats again, still trying to meet my eyes, and I try to chew, but end up swallowing the mouthful of food like a pill and almost choking on it. "What?" I then return, still coughing,"No! Just... ending our agreement," I fail at trying to make it sound less horrible.

"Our agreement?" he repeats my words again, still sounding shocked and disbelieving, but at least not enraged.

"To live together," I explain quietly, afraid he'll freak out the next second, and drink a few sips from my coke to get rid of the dryness in my throat.

"You mean our friendship?" he urges and I keep up with my weak attempts to defend my motives. "No! Just... the roommate thing, you know?"

"I know? Bullshit," he spits and I put the glass down. "Excuse me?"

"When you throw me out," Andy begins.

"I'm not," I cut him off sharply and he throws his hands up. "Whatever! Don't you dare try to tell me you want me to move out and-"

"I never said I wanted-" I try again because I want to show him that the point really is not me trying to get rid of him, but he's the one to cut me off this time. "Let me finish!" he barks and I flinch because he raises his voice so suddenly. I don't expect him to be violent and I'm not afraid of that either, but I'm afraid of him driving crazy, yelling and picking more fights to make everything even worse. "Don't tell me that and then say you want to stay friends!"