So many thoughts was rushing through my head.
How can Janice be my mum?
I don't want to believe it.
I won't believe it.
I got hotter and the room got smaller and the room was spinning.
"Well you little bitch, what have you got to say for yourself?" Janice spat.
"W-What?" Was all I got out.
"You heard me!" She shouted.
"What the fuck?!" I finally shouted, standing up.
"Look, Andie. I'm your mother and I love you so so much." Janice walked closer to me as I stepped back.
"Bullshit! You don't love me! You never did! Why give me up for adoption then adopt me? If you loved me you wouldn't treat me like shit!" I shouted.
"I don't treat you like shit. I treat you like any other mother would treat a normal sixteen year old. Oh, but your not normal, are you?" Janice smirked.
I wanted to scream.
I wanted to go into a dark corner and listen to music.
Because music makes everything better.
"You know why I'm not normal?"
She raised an eyebrow before I continued.
"I'm not normal because ever since I was thirteen years old, you have been nothing but mean to me! Saying I'm ugly, worthless, stupid, weird, freak and stupid! Making me feel like shit and making everyone from school like shit! The only person that has been here for me is Jackson, your little child who's ten, ten! He doesn't know I'm going through depression and that crap and he's still been here for me, the only one! You have done nothing! That makes me feel that I'm useless and stupid and when you call me them things it makes me feel like I'm better of dead. I want to die. Okay. That's the reason why I'm not normal. It's all your fault. I don't even want to call you my 'mum' and I'm not proud too."
She stood there speechless.
"It's not my fault your a little emo! Your the one who started liking that stupid music and wearing them horrid band t-shirts. I feel sorry for Jackson, having him to pretend to like you. He doesn't really like you. He's ten, he'll just do anything without thinking!" She shouted.
"See, thats what I mean, you can never say anything nice it always have to be something rude and mean that drags me down. So what if I'm an emo and I like that sort of music and dress like this? Your a alcoholic and a bully, but you don't see me calling you names! Fuck sake!" I shouted.
I wanted to cry.
I wanted to put a gun to my head and pull the trigger.
Or maybe put a rope around my neck then jump off the bed.
Or even jump off a bridge.
I'm just better off dead.
"Ha! You also think that, that Ashton boy likes you? No! He hates you! When he calls you beautiful, he really means your ugly. When he calls you skinny, he really means your fat. When he calls you perfect, he really means your a mistake!"
That hurt.
"This is your family! You need to stop being so disrespectful to your mother and show respect." She added.
"Is this what you call a family? This is anything but a family! Fuck this! I'm done! I'm fucking done! I'm done trying to stay strong. I'm done being ugly. I'm done being a freak. I'm done with you! I'm done with school! I'm done with this world! I'm done with living! It never ends! It fucking never ends! Why can't it fucking end!"
I was no crying.
"I should just fucking die!" I scream.
"Yeah, you should." Janice laughed as I slapped her.
Fuck.
++++
Yay! I finally updated.
Woah there's a lot of swearing on this chapter.
ooooops, didn't even realize.
i went to a concert the other day and it was amazing, the band was called 'Room 94' you should search them because their great.
kk, bye my fluffly unicorns.
lol idk xx
