Here to Stay || Ashton Irwin (completed)

Chapter 5

"You what?" I suddenly felt as though everything that happened up to that point was insignificant. My breathing was harsh and abnormal. Ashton's sad eyes searched my face trying to decipher my thoughts. This couldn't happen to him, it wasn't fair. His hand gently squeezed mine in reassurance and I was brought back around.

"I found out yesterday but I didn't want to tell you," my face fell at his confession, he went on, "Not that I didn't want you to know, I just didn't know how to say it," I looked up and he continued, "I know how much you've been through lately and it hurts to see you like this."

I traced my thumb along his palm, so grateful I could face this news with contact, knowing he was really there. He frowned and placed his other hand over mine, smiling slightly.

"Luckily," he breathed, trying to keep his voice steady, "They caught it before it could get too bad, so if we can get the correct treatment, it won't be as bad." I flinched at his choice of words. My breath and voice had yet to return to me and all I could do was cry. 

"Hey, don't cry, I'm going to be okay. I'll be fine."

I sobbed on, only finding the slightest comfort in the touch of his finger tips against my own. How could I leave now? How could I abandon him during a time like this? I couldn't. I couldn't do that. He had been there for me so I would be there for him. That's what friends did. And I was his friend. I was definitely his friends. We had grown so close these past couple of days that I almost hated being away from him. Every time we did something I found out something new about him and his life and he did the same with me. We found out that we liked the same band, and had both been at the same concert last April. We talked about the acoustic cover of Therapy when the entire mosh pit sat on the ground to just enjoy the song. My favorite thing was to hear him tell stories of his family vacations. He almost always ended up running after his brother with some man speaking another language running after them for something Harry had done. Those were definitely my absolute favorite. As for me, the thing he liked most was me talking about the things I love. Like my favorite things to do, like take pictures. Once he had told me that when I talked about my photography, my whole face lit up and it made him happy that I shared something so magnificent with him. If we were any normal set of kids, I would've kissed him then and there, but we weren't and even if I tried, it wouldn't have worked. I wondered if he had those thoughts sometimes too. I doubted it. He probably understood the physical limitations that I could not. 

"I'm not going to leave," I finally croaked out.

"Wait," his finger stopped moving, "What?"

"I can't leave you."

"Are you sure Emma?" He asked looking up at me, "I don't want to hold you back from your moving on stuff."

"Ashton, please, don't. I need to be here for you. I care about you too much, I'd never be able to forgive myself if I just left you like this."

He rubbed the back of his neck, "I care about you too, thank you. I don't know what I'd do without you."

"You have your friends," I reminded him, making sure he remembered that I wasn't the only person he had to support him, if you even counted me as a person.

"Yeah, but they don't know what it's like."

That didn't need an explanation, I knew exactly what he meant. I nodded and licked my lower lip making him look away. That made my heart drop a little. I averted my eyes to looking out the window so that it wasn't like I was watching him. He crawled under the covers and held them up for me. I snuggled into them, still keeping my half a foot distance between us, the only thing connecting us were our hands, wrapped tightly around one another. I had managed to control my crying due to his constant pleas for me to understand that he'd be okay. It took a lot of convincing, but eventually the tears stopped coming.