Here to Stay || Ashton Irwin (completed)

Chapter 31

"So this is Emma right?" Michael asked a week later. We were all sitting on Ashton's bed, watching tv, when Calum had brought up the point that they never actually associated a name to the face. Sure they had seen me on all the proper memorial pictures, mostly all my old yearbook pictures, around the school, but they'd never seen me. So Ashton pulled out a picture we had taken from my room of me on the beach the summer before, laughing as my hair blew in the win, and showed it to them.

"Not gonna lie, but she's hot," Luke whispered, cracking a smile.

I blushed and Ashton kissed my cheek.

Calum chuckled and Ashton raised an eyebrow at him, "What?"

"Sorry dude," Calum started, "It's just weird to see you kissing air."

Ashton smirked and leaned over and planted one on me then without warning. I raised my eyebrows and kissed him back, wrapping my hand around his neck. They could only see him, what was the harm? No matter the level of weirdness, the guys started laughing, whooping, and hollering as we continued to make out. I pulled away for a second and then went to kiss him again, but just as my lips were about to brush his, I felt nothing. Ashton's eyes shot open and he leaned again, missing my mouth entirely. 

I looked up at him my eyes wide with sadness and felt my bottom lip quiver in the slightest. It was happening. Ashton's body was healing. He was going back into life. His physical relationship with me would only lessen from here. Ashton swallowed hard and clenched his jaw, reaching up to stroke my cheek with his thumb. I leaned into his touch, thankful that we still had that. 

Suddenly, the noise of someone clearing their throat startled the lot of us. Anne stood in the doorway, waiting patiently.

"Hi mom," Ashton greeted her, a fake smile plastered to his face, "We can be quieter if you'd like."

"Actually I was just thinking you should get some sleep. It's really late and it's raining pretty bad. I want to make sure the boys get home safely."

Michael, Luke and Calum took the hint and slowly stood up, gathering the stuff they brought and shuffled out of the room, muttering "see you laters" and "we'll call you tomorrows." Anne smiled as they each left. 

"Don't stay up to late," Anne whispered, reaching for Ashton's rooms' light. 

"I won't. I promise, good night mom."

"Goodnight baby," she turned to return to the hallway, pulling the door closed behind her. Just as the last of the light was about to leave the room, Anne opened the door again, "Ashton?" She asked, into the darkness.

"Yeah?" He replied, sitting up a bit.

Anne paused, her hand rising to her chin, "I love you."

"I love you, too," he answered, not even catching her pause. I looked at Anne, like I really studied her, trying to figure out what she was holding back from, but she disappeared, closing the door before I could gather anything. 

I exhaled deeply and leaned back against Ashton's chest. A few moments of silence passed and soon an awkward tension fell upon us. The words were both at the tips of our tongues but I knew neither one of us wanted to be the ones to start off the dreaded conversation.

"It was bound to happen eventually." His voice was hoarse and cracked, as if he were about to cry. 

I shifted and propped myself up on my elbow, so that I was looking down at him, "I know," I swallowed hard, "I just wish we had a warning."

"We can still make this work, though, we made it work before. We'll be fine. We made it this far," he reached up and stroked my cheek. He pulled his hand away and kissed his finger, before returning it to my lips. I smiled at the gesture and returned the favor. 

"Don't be too upset," I asked him, watching as his eyes fought back tears. "We have the memory of what it felt like."

"I don't know how that's supposed to make me feel better," he responded, chuckling quietly. 

"Oh, you," I joked, "Just, ugh, boys."

"What can I say?" He smirked playfully. I swatted his shoulder and lowered myself back down so my head rested on his chest again. 

"It's only going to get worse," I whispered, not wanting to bring more depressing topics onto us, but not being able to avoid the unavoidable.

Ashton's hand moved to my hair and began to smooth it out, following the curve of my body down my back to my hip, "Yes, it will. But for now," he said smirking. "We have this," his fingers walked up my waist, "And this," they danced across my back. "And this," they traced up my neck. "And if we have that, we can have anything."

I smiled, absorbing his touch on every inch of my body. Forging the feeling into memory in the case that one day I wouldn't be able to feel it on command. I could feel my eyes growing heavy but before I slipped completely to sleep, I lifted my head to speak once more, "You know, even in the darkest of situations, you manage to be so optimistic. I wish I could be more like you."

Ashton smiled and kissed his finger, poking my nose with it. "I love you Emma, I love you so much."

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a/n: aw shyit.