Here to Stay || Ashton Irwin (completed)

Chapter 20

At 9pm, I was standing in the hospital hallway. My fingers were clasped in front of me and fidgeting nervously. After our rather intimate confessions, I wanted nothing more than to spend the next few hours cuddled into my... Boyfriend? Yeah, boyfriend. And just spend the small amount of time we had doing couple things. But how could I? How could I pretend I hadn't seen what I had seen. I was torn and as I watched Ashton hurry towards me, a smile growing with every step, I could only feel my guilt grow.

"Hello!" Ashton cheered, scooping me into his arms. I tried to smile and laugh along, but each second hung on me, knowing what I was hiding from him. He put me down and pressed his lips to mine.

"Are the boys really that bad?" I asked pulling away and resting my forehead against his. He leaned in and kissed me again, but I didn't lean into it as much.

"Is something wrong?" He asked, as I turned my face even further. I fought back the urge to tell him everything right then and there.

"No, yeah everything's fine." I tried my best to lie.

He studied my face for a while and stared at me, "Are you su-"

"So what did the boys and you do?" I asked him, changing the subject.

He studied my face and I could tell he was debating talking to me about what was going on, but he quickly dismissed it and went along with the conversation, "We jammed. We laughed. It was just like all the old band practices, it was awesome. I missed you though," he snuggled his face into my neck. I giggled and turned around, walking down the hall. He grabbed my hand and we walked on, going up the stairs to a newly renovated hallway. I walked into the first door and sat down on the hospital bed. He sat next to me and wrapped his arm around my shoulders.

"What'd you do?" He asked me, kissing my cheek softly.

My heart froze and I panicked, not sure of what to do. All I wanted to do was kiss him and make him feel loved, not tell him he was abandoned by someone who was supposed to never leave. I fought with myself until he coughed, bringing me back around. "I uh," I couldn't break him but I couldn't lie either, "I went to your house, but no one was home, so I left and just walked around."

He nodded, "Looks like you have to snoop another day," he joked, oblivious to the truth I had just confessed. He kissed below my ear and pulled me down so that we were laying side by side. I stretched my neck, allowing him to continue kissing me.

"How long do we have?" I whispered as he continued to kiss me everywhere but my lips.

"Maybe 20 minutes," he shrugged, his lips trailing down my neck. I gasped when he stopped an bit the skin near my collar bone. And though all I wanted was to let him keep going, I couldn't live with the guilt.

"Ash," I whispered, the worry in my voice evident.

"What? Did I do something wrong?" He asked, suddenly alert and looming over me.

"No it's just," I looked into his eyes and tried to force the words out, but I just couldn't. "I love you," was all I could say. He smiled and kissed me sweetly.

"Aw babe, I love you too," he whispered in my ear. I shivered and wrapped my hands around his waist.

"Are we, you know, together now?" I asked him suddenly.

He looked down at me and raised an eyebrow, "I thought that was implied."

I nodded and shrugged, "I just wanted to make sure," I answered, a smile growing on my face.

"Oh, well in that case. Yes, Emma, you are my girlfriend."

"And so that makes you," I grinned, tracing his cheek with my thumb, "My boyfriend."

"Yes it does." He smirked and kissed me again, harder this time. I felt my air escape me as he pinned me against the mattress and moved his lips down my throat. I gasped and sucked in a hard breath as he sucked extra hard, surely leaving a mark that no one but us two would ever see.

As he continued, working his mouth all over my body, I tried to enjoy it but couldn't help it as the guilt battled my pleasure. He had to find out sooner or later, but how was I supposed to tell my sick boyfriend his father had left him. I couldn't.

Suddenly Ashton stopped, "Alright Em, we have 3 minutes," he said consulting his watch, "Are you going to tell me what's wrong or not."

"Nothing's wrong," I told him, trying to make it convincing, "Just kiss me again."

He laughed and did as I asked. Three minutes later, the alarm on his watch went off and we pulled apart. "Go back to your friends, they're waiting for you."

"Well fine," he jokingly scoffed, "If you don't want me."

I pulled his shirt and brought my face to inches away from mine, "I will always want you, but go get your ass back to them."

"Fine!" He laughed hopping off the bed, "You coming?" He asked holding out his hand.

I shook my head and pointed towards the window, "I think I'm just gonna get out of here for a few more hours. I'll see you in the morning," I decided.

"Go check my house again, if you can," he begged, something in his eyes stopping me from saying no.

"Okay, I'll try I promise."

"Thank you Emma," he mumbled, releasing my hand, "I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you too, you goof. I love you."

"I love you too."

I watched him leave out the doorway and down the hall. As soon as I heard the door to the stairwell at the end of the hallway close, I walked to the window and walked through it, allowing myself to float down to the ground below. I, more than anything wanted to go back to Ashton's and get to the bottom of this but I couldn't figure out what to do.

I started walking through town, admiring the quietness and the moonlight, when something caught my eye. Barreling down Main Street at an extremely high speed was a familiar car. I knew it from Ashton's garage, it was his moms favorite. I watched in confusion as it screeched around the next turn and raced off towards his house,

With nothing but curiosity fueling me, I chased after it. When I arrived to his house, his mom was climbing out of the vehicle. She tripped as she raced towards the front door, throwing it open and falling into the house.

I watched as she pushed herself up, a stream of curses and mumbling flooding from her lips. "Please no, come back, you can't do this," she yelled into the empty house.

I watched from behind her as something caught her eye. I couldn't bare to look on as she walked towards the wedding band, understanding what had happened.

"What do I do now?" Her voice broke, as she choked on a sob. Tears streamed from her eyes and she placed her head in her hands. "What do I do?"

I stood there completely helpless, unsure if what to do. I knew Ashton had hinted to her that his 'guardian angel' was watching over him but I never made any effort to make myself known to her. But seeing her like this, completely broken and torn, I knew I had to do something. She had to know that she wasn't the only one.

I ran up the stairs and towards Ashton's bathroom. I started the shower and closed the door. Suddenly I heard his mom climbing the stairs. "Hello?" She called out. As the shower steamed up the mirror, I wrote on the mirror.

I heard footsteps in the hall and cut the shower, slamming the toilet shut so that she would get the hint. By the time his mom walked in, I had written on the mirror and her tears had stopped.

"I know too, we have to tell him."

Her eyes widened and almost as if she were looking directly at me, she whispered, "Thank You."