Here to Stay || Ashton Irwin (completed)

Chapter 23

"No I wasn't," I protested. I had been gone for two days tops, I knew that, he was clearly exaggerating. 

"Yes, you were," he said, reaching for the desk calendar on his bedside table, "Look."

I slowly took a step closer and squinted my eyes looking at the electronic calendar. I blinked a few times, confirming the reality that I had indeed been gone for a week. I blinked back tears and felt my voice drop, "No, I was gone for two days. I know I was. I, I didn't, I couldn't have," I stuttered.

"Emma, I thought you actually left," Ashton whispered, his voice barely audible. Sadness flooded his eyes and I felt pain strike my heart. "I couldn't, you, you weren't here." I stood there gaping, feeling the guilt seep throughout my body. I knew it wasn't my fault but regardless of where the time went or why it went by so fast, I was still MIA. I left him.

"Ashton, I," I started, but I couldn't finish. I had no idea what I could finish that sentence with. I shook my head and turned around, getting the feeling that I was no longer wanted anymore. 

"Em, wait," He said, reaching his hand out. I turned, tears burning in the back of my eyes and hope pouring from my soul. 

"What?" I croaked, pulling the chair behind me closer. I sat down and allowed him to wrap my hand in his. 

"Emma, you didn't let me finish," he said, a smile poking through his cheeks. "You always seem to do that," he laughed and brought my hand to his lips, kissing the back of it softly. "In this week you were away, something happened." I looked at him, my eyes widening, expecting the worst. He smiled and pulled me closer to him, so that our faces were barely inches apart. I watched his face, waiting for him to speak, to hint at something. 

"Ashton, just tell me, I feel like you hate me right now and just need to hear you say something or I'm going to go absolutely crazy," I rushed.

"Em-" he said suddenly, "Em, I don't hate you," he licked his lips and sat up, his other hand enclosing around our already conjoined hands. 

"Then why are you hesitating? Are you still mad at me? I didn't mean to leave for that long, I really didn't want to leave you. I just left for two days because I just felt like you hated me and now I know you're saying you don't, but I still felt like that. And I also felt like I had to give you space and time and room to be with your mom."

"Emma," He grabbed my other hand and turned me to face him. "Look at me." I squeezed my eyes shut and met his gaze. His one hand let mine go as soon as I was looking at him and pushed my hair back. "Emma, look at me and listen carefully," he whispered, a smile forming on his face, his dimples pushing through. "I do not hate you. I am not mad at you. Something weird has happened and neither of us know what. It's not fair to blame either of us. It just happened, but we are here together now and I have something important to tell you."

I shook my head and looked down, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have assumed all that."

"Emma, stop apologizing."

"I'm sor-"

"Em," he cut me off.

I blushed and looked down, "Never mind then."

"That's better," he lifted my chin up and gazed into my eyes, he slowly brought his lips to mine and brushed them across mine slowly. I smiled and brought him closer, kissing him deeper than he had barely done to me. He mumbled and said something, but I cut him off yet again by parting my lips slightly. Whether it had been a week or two days, I had missed this and having it back felt amazing. Suddenly I felt his hands on my shoulders, "Em, wait."

I whimpered and let him pull away, "What?" 

"I have something to tell you, remember?"

I bit my lip and rolled my eyes, pressing a quick kiss to his lips again. I tried pulling away, but was stopped suddenly. "Not so fast," he smirked, kissing up my jaw. 

"I thought you-"

He kissed me one more time and then pulled away. "Oh so you're allowed to stop, but I can't," I teased.

"I have good news."

"You do?"

"Yes, as a matter of fact, I do," he said, his smile breaking through like crazy now.

"Well... What?" I asked, scooting closer.

"Em," he said, taking a final breath, "The doctors have told me that the treatment is working and mixed with the surgery I'm having tomorrow, the tumor will be gone."

I felt my eyes bulge and my mouth drop. I quickly went to cover my mouth, feeling my smile growing. "Ash," I whispered, burrying my face into his chest, "Ashton." I continued whispering his name into his hospital robe, my smile growing, happy tears replacing the frustrated, sad ones that had previously been pouring down my cheeks. "I told you that you'd be fine. I told you," I cried.

"I know babe," he whispered, pressing a kiss to my forehead, "We just have to hope that the surgery goes well tomorrow."

"I'm sure it will, Ash," I told him truthfully, "Especially if your treatment is working. There's no way this could end worse than when it begins. Oh my god, Ashton, I'm so happy for you." I pulled my head away from his chest and tilted his chin down.

"Please," he whispered. 

I slowly brought my lips to his, letting him know I was here. He snaked his arm around my waist and pulled me towards him, allowing me to climb into bed next to him. I carefully wrapped my legs around his waist and settled into his lap. "Emma, I love you so much, thank you for being there for me, through everything," he mumbled into my mouth.

"God, I love you so much. I'm so happy you're going to be okay," I replied, my lips trailing down to his neck. His hands gripped at my shirt as my lips continued their descent towards his collarbone, his breath catching in his throat. 

"Wait," he begged as his hands pushed me away for the second time tonight. 

"What?" I asked slightly annoyed, but still curious.

"What does this mean for us?"

I looked at him, confusion spreading across my face.

"If I get better, we can't-" he motioned between us. 

"Oh shit." 

"Yeah."

I looked at him and he stared back at me and everything went quiet.

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a/n: hey so sorry if this sucks, my laptop is dying but i just want it up. i hope you all like wooooo comment/vote stay fab xoxo -em