Here to Stay || Ashton Irwin (completed)

Chapter 6

"I need to start looking for doctors today after school," Ashton told me, as he slipped his shirt over his head. I found myself staring yet again, as he pulled it down over his stomach. "...and I was wondering if you wanted to come with me?"

I looked up at him. "Are you sure? Aren't your parents going to be there? You won't be able to talk to me you know," I reminded him.

"Yeah, I know. But it would be nice to have some support, to have a hand to hold."

I smiled and nodded, touched that he offered, "Sure, if you really think having me there will help, then there's nothing I'd rather do."

"I know it will help," he responded. He then plopped down onto the bed next to me and took my hand, his smile grew, "Thank you Emma," he whispered, "I'm glad I don't have to face this alone."

My eyes glassed over and just as I was about to respond, his mom called from downstairs, "Ashton! Hurry up! You're going to be late!" 

He groaned and rolled off the mattress, hitting the ground with a thud. "I'll be right down Mother!" He yelled back, dramatically. I laughed as he proceeded to move. 

"Go on, before she gets annoyed with you," I urged him, but he didn't budge, "Ashton," I whined. He giggled and rolled onto his back and patted the ground next to him. I rolled my eyes and got off the bed, to sit next to him. 

"No lie down," he told me, and I did as he said.

We stared at his ceiling for a few minutes. When Ashton was 8, he had bought those glow in the dark stars and despite his mom's orders to not stick them to the ceiling, he went ahead and did it anyway. When she noticed them, she had yelled at him to take them down, but he just put them back up. That continued for another week, until she finally gave in. And here they were, nine years later, still stuck to the ceiling. I traced the outline of the biggest one, directly above me, and waited for him to break the silence. 

"We'll do something fun tonight," he promised me.

"But it's a wednesday," I reminded him.

"But it's the last wednesday on this very date that I have," he added.

I cringed at the thought of that and turned my head to look at him. He turned his head to face me, his eyes scanning my face. 

"I just want to make the most of what I have left," he whispered. 

"I know, it's just unbelievable how calmly you're taking this."

He shook his head and looked up at the ceiling, "I'm anything but calm," he confessed, "Before I came home yesterday, I was in the guidance office having a mental breakdown. They actually expect me to focus on school and life as if it can't just end at any given moment. It has to be a joke!" He threw his hands up in the air and let them rest on his chest, "If I'm going to die, I want to go out and do everything I've ever wanted, not sit there and watch the clock tick in English. I want to go to Europe, I want to fall in love," I flinched, feeling slight jealousy at his mention of that, "I want to see my favorite band play and I want to crowd surf and get lost in the crowd.I just want to not be locked up, I know I will eventually be, I'll be too sick to go anywhere... I've read the stories, seen the movies, hell I've watched my friends lose people to this, I'm not anywhere near calm, but I know this: I want to spend my last few months out doing crazy things, I want to live life to the fullest, I don't want to waste or regret a second!" He was standing now. Somewhere in the midst of his speech he had pushed off the ground and jumped to his feet. "I just want to live and do everything I haven't done, and I want you to join me, so I have someone to share it all with." He beamed down at me, tears also forming in his eyes. He looked as happy and as sad as I had ever seen him.