5 REASONS WHY (CAMREN/FIFTH HARMONY)

TAPE 4 - Side B

(continuation...)

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"Damn it."

I muttered as i applied the concealer around dark circles under my eyes. My eye bags have eye bags. Christ, this is what i got from my crying, stressing over things and staying up late. last. Some of the staffs even noticed me crying. They asked if i was okay, and I said that i just miss my mom.

"Walz," Dinah approached me.

I glanced at her.
"Hey," I said shyly.

It's odd. Dinah and I hardly even talked because i had to avoid her.

"Let's go," Dinah spoke.

"The show isn't starting yet," I said.

"Yeah i know. Lets go?"

"Where?"

Dinah didnt answered, she pulled my hand. I sighed and followed her lead. We ended up at the back alley of the stadium.

"Are you okay?" She spoke, breaking the silence between us.

I nodded. I bit my lip and avoided looking at her.

"Camila, tell me, are you okay?" Dinah asked firmly.

"Im not!" I replied.

Dinah didnt answer, she quickly pulled me in for a hug... and i cried.
Only Dinah can do this. Of course she know me too well. She knows that im being emotional because of Lauren and Lucy. I already lost count on how many minutes did i spent while sobbing on her shoulder. But i felt relieved somehow.

"You'll never be happy if you didn't do the right thing." Dinah spoke,

I wiped my tears and looked at her,
"I guess i'll just have to sacrifice my happiness for now," I said.

After that confrontation with Dinah, I was able to control my emotions. I learned how to no to cry in front of Lauren and Lucy.

I thought it was okay, i thought i was okay, until the Feud with Ally and Normani happened.... and now i felt like even Dinah was mad at me, i had no one. Even though i managed to fixed everything with Normani and Ally.... things never went back to normal.

I had to act like I'm fine. Everyone thinks I'm okay, yet when the lights are off & I'm all alone, that is when the tears start to fall.

I felt lonely. The rest of the girls started to avoid me. I had to isolate my self from them and spent my time alone. Usually, i spent the rest of my free day composing songs on the hotel bathroom. I would talk to Shawn sometimes, but he's also busy with some other stuffs.

I was browsing my twitter when i read a comment from a hater, asking me to stop singing or just kill my self.

Can i just say how sensitive i am? I know i have to get use to this bad comments, but i can't. Felt like these stuffs are dragging all my energy down, and i found my self crying alone again, i just need someone to hug me right now.

I put my phone down, shut my eyes and just let my tears fall down.

"Here,"

Someone spoke. I quickly opened my eyes and saw a blue handkerchief being offered to me. I raised my head and saw Lauren.

I almost forgot, i am sharing a room with her today and probably for the next 7 days, because Dinahs family came over.

"I,-I dont need that," I said then avoided looking at her.