human ↦ calum hood {au}

eighteen: not

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN:

| calum’s pov |

And we’re back again. 

There’s not a time that we aren’t fighting– if you don’t consider the times when we ignore each other– and now, I’m sick of actually giving in to what she says. Because I know it isn’t true anymore.

Again and again, she tells me she’ll stop, but she doesn’t. And I’m tired. I’m tired to the point that I think I can do something so stupid. I will do something stupid.

She made me feel like I wasn’t good enough, made me believe in her idiotic lies, and made me stop loving her. I didn’t want to, but I realized that I didn’t love her anymore.

“I mean it this time, Lyn. We’re done.”

The horrific look on her face tells me that I’ve hurt her, but I feel no remorse. I did the right thing– and I know she knows that, too. 

Her shaking hands grip my shirt as she begged, “I love you, Calum. Don’t throw it all away, please.”

“But you threw it away, Lynette. I just noticed that there was nothing to keep.” I was being cold, and I wondered why I didn’t feel bad for a second.

No, I know why. She deserved it.

Lynette’s tears streamed down her face. “I’ll do anything, just don’t leave me!” She screamed, the hold on my shirt being tightened. 

“You tell me that every time! I’m sick of your lies; just stop already,” I replied, pulling away from her. After everything, I’ve lost trust in her. I don’t think we can even be friends after this.

This is the worst thing that’s ever happened to me.

She cried so hard, and this is the only time I’ve seen her do that. It would make me change my mind, if she hadn’t made me this way– hard-hearted. 

Her grey eyes take a sudden turn for the worse, when she looked up at me, a strong emotion of anger being reflected. “It’s not over.”

I fight the urge to ask what she meant by that, frightened that I’d be greeted by a Lynette that I never knew was real. I was afraid she wouldn’t be the one that I loved.

Yet, even though there was fear hidden inside of me, I managed to send her the same look she gave me, only more of a disappointed kind. “I thought it was forever.”

Her expression softened, and her lips shake, as well. “If only you’d been the way I expected you to be– we wouldn’t be here, Cal. We’d be forever.”

That fueled up my rage. It was infuriating– the way she made it seem like it was my own fault. It was my fault I wasn’t perfect.

“I tried to, Lyn! I fucking tried to! But I can’t– I’m not that figment of your imagination!”