AN; In last chapter when Zonnique said "we could be friends and maybe even more"- SCUUUR. I didn't mean no lesbian shit with her and Ariana. Nao -____- chill. lol anyways.... I'm not doing anyone's pov except Nique for now.
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December 14th.
I sat in the corner alone, watching everyone participate in today's activities. Karen had everybody outside doing an obstacle course or whatever. I told her I wasn't feeling well so I sat on the bench, writing a letter. To whom? It may sound crazy but Christopher. I haven't spoke to him in awhile and I'd really like to see him. In a time like this I couldn't rely on August in all honesty. I finished writing the letter and held it up to read.
Dear Christopher,
Hey it's Zonnique. I wrote this letter because you've been on my mind for awhile now. Sometimes my pride wouldn't let me pick up the phone or even text you. I just felt like you gave up on me; on us. I thought you'd be mine officially but we don't always get what we want. Chris you played me, you made me believe we'd actually be together. I was a fool for you. Well honestly I still am. It isn't a day where I don't think about what we could be. But you've moved on and I'm still stuck on you. I hope everything is well with Meghan and yourself. I'm not doing so well at all but that's the usual right? I feel horrible. I'm hoping to hear from you soon Christopher! Don't forget about me superstar :)
XoXo Zonnique ♡
P.S; Yes the address is correct. I'm at that same rehab you were at. Karma's a dirty bitch! lol bye.
I weakly smiled before folding the paper into the envelop. I walked over to the drop box and slipped the letter inside. Hopefully within two or three days he'll write back. He's always busy with music and producing so who knows when I'll get a reply. As I began walking back to the benches, I could hear Cat's voice. I peeked around the corner to see her with Zoey. I grimaced immediately. I still can't believe that sick little cunt raped me along with Shad and the other kid. It's disgusting that she actually likes him. I saw him kiss her lips before smirking and walking away.
"Zonni!" Cat called waving her hand at me. She wrapped her arms around me and gave a friendly hug.
I winced in pain from the tightness. My body was still sore from yesterday. "H-Hi"
"You okay babes? You look shook up and all exhausted" she said touching my lifeless hair.
"I'm fine just home sick that's all. Do you know where Bahja is?"
"Over there with all the boys," she answered looking over by the round wooden tables. Her and everyone else were eating their food, conversing with eachother. It made me sick to see Bahja smiling with Shad. I don't give a fuck if we haven't spoke in awhile. Don't talk or even be around a nigga that messed with your bestfriend.
I rolled my eyes and went to another table to sit. I just wanted to be alone at this point. Just as I began starring off into space, I see Karen waving me inside the building. Shit. I slowly got up and made my way over to her. I could feel someone watching my every move; Shad. My eyes landed on him causing my heart to pump faster. He smirked at me sinisterly. He's sick. I hurried inside and closed my eyes trying to catch my breath.
"Zonnique today's your first therapy session with Mrs.Lora. Are you ready?" Karen asked looking down at her clipboard. "I know you've been feeling under the weather about being away from your family. But everything will get better I promise"
I nodded playing with my nails. If she only knew.
"Follow me to the room" she smiled warmly and turned on her heels. I followed her down the hall to the fourth door on the right.
Honestly I wasn't ready to talk to someone but I know this is the best decision for me. I've only talked to a therapist once and that's because of Kaden's death. That was one of the worst times of my life.
"I hope everything goes well"
"T-Thanks" I mumbled.
She rubbed my shoulder in a comfortable way before walking away. I hesitantly twisted the doorknob, and opened it, stepping inside. I shut the door afterwards then looked up. A dark skinned woman with glistening skin and chink brown eyes sat in a chair. She had to be in her mid thirties if that. This is probably the first black administrator I've seen here so far.
"Have seat honey or relax" she said gesturing to the reclining chair. I sat down placing my hands in my lap. I wasn't fully comfortable with her yet.
"I'm Mrs.Lora but just call me Justine, you're Zonnique right?"
"Yes"
She jotted something down on her notebook then looked back up at me."I've read your files and might I say, you're one strong woman'
"Strong? Not even close" I scoffed.
"You are very strong my dear. You've been through hell and back yet you haven't given up. A lot of women wouldn't last a day in your shoes. I'm actually amazed!" Justine exclaimed with a suppressed giggle.
I blushed unintentionally and played with the ends of my hair. Nobody has ever said anything like that so I felt an ounce of confidence come back. "I guess"
"Don't let anyone validate your life Zonnique. You are in control"
"I understand but when everyone has that same impression of me, I feel horrible"
"What impression?"
"That I'm a hoe, or an unfit parent, or unable to maintain any relationship. I hurt the people that are the closest to me and I don't know why" I sighed.
Justine scribbled something down before tapping her pen. "That's because you're too busy worrying about loving a man. Learn to love yourself. A man will come when the time is right darling"
"Mrs.Lora I mean Justine, it's not about men. There's this one particular one-"
"Christopher Brown?" she inquired with a smirk appearing on her face. My cheeks rose and I looked down again.
"How'd you know that?"
"Because it's written all over your face and your shoulder" she answered gesturing to my tattoo. I glanced at it then raised an eyebrow. Awhile ago Chris and I got matching tattoos with roman numerals with the day; we said we loved eachother. We never actually told anyone because it was between us. It's special...
"Although you love Christopher, you must allow him to come back to you. Don't keep chasing pavements Zonnique because you're only hurting yourself. He'll come around I just know it"
I frowned playing with the fabric on my pants. "How do you know this?"
She smiled. "Because every time he sings, he's singing to you. It sounds corny but it's true"
"Well I don't know about that.. he has a girlfriend anyways and I highly doubt he gives a damn about me. But I sent him a letter earlier and-"
"Really? That's a great step Zonnique!" Justine cheered and wrote that down on the paper. My eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "You're slowly letting go of your pride which is one of your horrible downfalls. I promise you he'll reply back within two or three days..."
I hope so....
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Thanks for reading♡
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