Growing Love - Camren

Chapter 16

"Are you okay? Did I say something wrong?"

"No I'm fine, it's just that... I don't want you to leave me too, Lauren."

Camila's POV

"I'm not leaving you," she said. Her eyebrows furrowed as her eyes darted back and forth to both of mine, trying to read me, to make me understand something. Her hands gripped my shirt as she saw my eyes fade and more tears form. "Camila," she husked. "I would never let my favorite thing in the world just slip through my fingers." 

I smiled weakly and felt a tear roll down my cheek after I shut my eyes, not allowing her to see my pain. She reached up to wipe the tear away and slowly pulled me closer to her. 

She hugged me hard with one arm around my neck and the other around my waist. Her embrace immediately soothed me and without a word I hugged her back and burrowed my head in her neck. 

After staying like that for about a minute, I pulled away and wiped my now dampened cheek. I noticed the small droplets that fell onto her shirt and regretted being so weak as to cry in front of her yet again. 

"Sorry," I said while frantically wiping her shoulder, knowing it wouldn't do anything to the stained shirt. She just took my hand calmly and smiled. My heart warmed at the sight of her smile during a time I needed it most. 

"Don't worry about it, it's just a couple teardrops." she said calmly. 

"No, I mean I'm sorry for doing this all the time. I don't know what's wrong with me. To be honest I don't even know why you're still treating me nicely when I'm just this boring, broken, useless girl who has nothing to give you in return for everything you've already done for me," I stated honestly. 

"First of all, you're not any of those things to me, and second of all, I'm only here for you right now, I don't need anything from you besides you," she said with soft eyes and a small smile.  

At this, my body began to heat up with rage, not at her, but myself. I realized I'm just here to burden her, she doesn't deserve me when all I do is cry and all she does it put me back together constantly. Not that she made me feel this way, necessarily, these thoughts formed on their own. 

"That's the thing," I said pushing her off gently. "I'm just burdening you, Lauren. I came here, took over your house, ate almost all your food, cried in front of you what, maybe 200 times now? And yet here you still are comforting me and saying you'll never leave me," my voice strained from the tears. The thoughts of my mom and dad leaving me in different senses of the word, flooded my memory and tore at my heart... and I'm blaming it all on Lauren. 

"But I'm not leaving, I told you that," she said, trying to calm my nerves and placed her hands gently on my arms. 

I yanked them back, immediately noticing the hurt expression on her face, yet continued to raise my voice for no reason other than my inability to control my emotions. "Yes you will! You're just like the rest of them! You'll say that you love me and that you won't hurt me, then the next thing I know, you'll either completely treat me like shit or I'll get a call at 2 a.m. saying that I'll never get to see you again and better yet, I'm the one that caused it ! " Tears were now rushing down my face, just as Lauren probably thought I had stopped crying. Guess I'm disappointing her yet again. 

"I care about you so damn much but I can't! Do you know why?" I didn't giver her any time to answer before continuing. "Because that means the world will ruin you, hurt you, or something to stop me from being happy. You're going to get hurt and so will I. That's always what happens, Lauren, so just stay... stay away from me!"