The Tri-Author Tournament {Closed}

Feedback: Bonus Task 1

Rayner Joesph

This was a very good entry! In the beginning there were only one or two syntax errors that caught. Once was just grammatical, and one was were you were transitioning from 2nd back to 1st person and put "yourself" in a paragraph of 1st person, but neither was a big deal. Overall, it felt a little rushed, but not enough to take me out of the entry. The descriptions of the other school's entrances were beautiful! The entry kept my attention the whole time, and the 2nd person format was well incorporated. I really enjoyed Violet's character throughout, and I enjoyed the way he didn't totally abandon her after she entered his name. Overall, I really enjoyed this entry!

Harley Jackson

This was a good entry! At times I felt like it was a little over dramatic, but Harley certainly had a bad day, so it was understandable. There were a few grammatical errors, but nothing too bad. Overall, I think it could be a little more descriptive, but other than that it seemed great! I loved the incorporation of second person, and a lot of the ideas seemed very creative, like the name a and the visions, as well as how you introduced conflict. You kept my attention throughout, so good job!