The Rising Truth

Growing affection

Thank you to snowinsummer8 and princessyamamoto

World Championship 2015

Shoma pov.

I failed. I absolutely, completely, and unutterably failed. Not to mention I cried in front of national television. I saw the video of Yuzuru and Javier looking at me in pity. I'm so angry at myself. My first senior World Championship and failed to give my best performance. I ended up in 7th place. God, I don't think I could face anyone ever again. Everyone has so much trust in me, they believed that I would get another medal for Japan. I didn't just fail everyone around me, I failed my country. 

Not to mention, I failed Yuzuru Hanyu. I was lucky enough to skate in the same competition as Yuzuru Hanyu. He believed that I would help him win for Japan and I absolutely failed him. For some reason, failing him hurts more than failing my country. 

The moment the interviews were over, I immediately requested to go back to the hotel. I couldn't stay there anymore. I had been locked in my room ever since. It's already 8:00 pm. Mihoko had dropped off dinner an hour earlier and had gone off for a meeting with the other coaches. The food tasted bland to me, but I knew it wasn't the food that was bland. I had been so tired since I got back and had been constantly crying to the point that my pillows were wet with tears. My world seemed to be crumbling down as if the foundation from which my mental stability stood had given way to this indescribable pain. 

A ping from my phone breaks the silence that I had once laid in. It was Sota.

Sota: U ok?

No

Sota: Have you eaten yet?

Yeah. I had some chicken and rice and some soup.

Sota: That's good. Have you talked to anyone yet?

My coaches and now you.

Sota: How are you doing?

I'm tired, angry, and just really miserable

Sota: You did what you could. Everyone fails. Everyone gives bad performances.

Yeah, I know

Sota: I gotta go. Hope you feel better.

Thank you. Bye.

Talking with Sota did make me feel better but not much. I turn off the lamp next to me and decide that sleep will help me get over this.

The next morning I wake up and drag myself to gala practice. I made small talk with Satoko and generally avoided everyone else. I envied everyone else who were able to find some joy in their performance. Even Yuzuru was joking and playing around with Javier. Everything just felt painful, watching everyone be able to pick themselves while I'm here moping around.

Once the gala was finished, I quickly retreated back to my room. I wasn't in the mood to attend the banquet. I went down for 20 minutes just to take pictures and discreetly made my way back. I laid in bed for what seemed like hours. It was around 9:00 when a knock came from my door. Thinking it was my coach, I got off the bed and hurried to the door. I opened it to see, not my coach, but Yuzuru Hanyu. 

When he's not skating, he looks a lot more approachable, especially when he's standing outside my door in a t-shirt and sweatpants and carrying a bag with takeout boxes in it. I quickly step aside to let him in.