The Way It Is (A Pierce the Veil Fanfic) *EDITING*

Chapter 40 - Hello Darkness

I took a deep breath.

I was doing this. I was really doing this.

This has honestly been a long time coming.

Drinking isn't working.

Pills aren't working.

Nothing is working.

Maybe this will.

Tears welled up in my eyes and soon began to spill out.

I had to be silent of course, so I let the tears fall freely from my eyes. They ran down my cheeks and dripped down onto my exposed thighs as I stared at them intently.

I took another deep breath as I pressed the cool metal to my burning flesh. I slowly began to drag it across my skin. The salty tears mixing with the blood stung a little but surprisingly I didn't feel much pain. I mean, it hurt, of course, but I was agonizingly numb at this point.

But what I did feel, was that release. Something in my brain telling me that this was right. This was what I needed. This would fix everything. It was indescribable how amazing this relief felt.

So, I did it again.

And again.

And again.

I kept doing it until the tears had stopped. My face was hot and my thighs were covered in lines and blood. There were 7 on each leg. They weren't deep cuts so hopefully they wouldn't scar much.

I smiled to myself as I looked at them and the blood coated blade in my fingertips. This was helpful. This worked.

*knock knock*

"Hime?" Mike's voice rang from beyond the bathroom door.

My heart stopped.

Shit.

I quickly stood, washing the blade in the sink and hiding it under a loose tile in the floor.

"Yeah?" I responded, my voice strong and you couldn't tell that I was crying. Or slicing myself for that matter.

"Hey, we're about to have a family meeting. You almost done in there?" He questioned casually.

"Yes sir. I'll be out in a second, my giraffe." I answered sounding cheery, even though my heart felt like it could pop out of my chest at any moment. Fear raged inside of me. They can not know.

I heard him chuckle lightly and I silently sighed in relief. He suspects nothing. Good.

"Okay, hedgehog." I could hear the smile in his voice and I suddenly felt a little guilty.

I know how upset we were about when Vic almost did it. Tony took the box. I shook my head to clear my thoughts. I can't dwell on the guilt.

I hurriedly cleaned up my mess of mutilation and put some Neosporin on the marks so they wouldn't scar too badly. Or at all if I'm lucky, but I'm not very lucky. I also pop a couple pain pills, just in case they grow painful.

I pull my shorts back on and splash some water on my face so you can't tell I've been crying. After looking just as cheery as always, I head into the main lounge for family meeting.

I bound into the room, as always, with a huge smile plastered on my face. I truly do enjoy family meetings and I love my boys. Warped hasn't stopped any of that. I take a seat at the table by Mike across from Vic and Tony sits in front of Mike.

I notice that Tony is staring at the table with his head down. He looks deep in thought. I can't read his expression though, but I'm sure he will tell us what's up. After all, that's the point of family meeting, to talk about our issues.