The Way It Is (A Pierce the Veil Fanfic) *EDITING*

Chapter 21 - No More Secrets

~~Vic's POV~~

"I took the box out last night." I blurt. My eyes are closed tightly as tears threaten to fall and my skin feels like it's on fire.

I hear them all gasp and that's when the silent tears break from my closed eyes.

"Vic..." Jaime whispers softly and I feel a hand on my knee. I slowly open my eyes, my vision blurred with tears, but I can still make out their shocked and saddened expressions.

"...Did you..." Mike starts softly. He is most used to this. I've been this way since 17.

Its then that Tony notices my outfit choice and he sucks in a breath sharply, making the other two notice the same thing.

I sigh and slowly lift my sleeves.

They all are silent.

"I was going to... but... I stopped myself." I breathe out, my voice shaky. "Right before I did, I opened my eyes and god, am I glad I did. The first thing I saw, was our ring." I smile sadly. "Then it hit me, that if I cut," I ran my hand over my clean wrist, "it would hurt Tony and Jaime more than I already had and add Mike to this list as well. And I thought about how it would ruin the chance of things ever getting better. I wasn't going to risk that."

I looked to the three around me. Their faces showed relief and something else...

"I'm... I'm really proud of you, Vic." Mike said, pulling me into a hug, crying lightly.

Oh.

They're proud.

They're proud of me. Of my choice.

For now.

Now is all I need. Fuck off.

"Babe..." Tony speaks quietly, just above a whisper. I pull from Mike's grasp to meet Tone's gaze. "How long has it been back?"

He's talking about the little douchebag voice.

Hi that's me!

The question surprises me. So much so, that I actually have to think for a moment.

"It's been about a week. Last Saturday, the day I royally fucked up dinner..." I half-smile at the memory.

"Why didn't you say anything? I could tell something was wrong... I... I even asked you..." Hime questions, his voice laced with regret, hurt and worry.

"I thought it would go away on its own. It does that sometimes... I'm sorry I didn't tell you... I know I should've but I didn't want you to worry about me."

"The point is, he didn't do it. Right? But if you feel like this again, if it comes back, please promise you'll tell us. Please." Mike pleads. Hime and Tone nod in response to his question and then all look to me for a promise.

A promise that I don't know if I can keep.

"Don't make a promise you can't keep." Hime states, making direct eye contact. He knows I was about to back out.

I take a deep breath. I can do this. I can beat this.

Again.

"I... I promise." They all look surprised before-

"I want the box." Tony announces. The surprise in the room now escalated to shock.

"Wh...What?" I choke out. He can't be serious. I need that box.

"I'm serious, Vic. You don't need it. And maybe, not having it hidden in your room, will take away the temptation."

I'm shocked. I cant. I need it... Don't I?