These Awkward Moments

Chapter 16 Revelation

** Hey Readers,
Thanks for hanging in there with me so far. Delilah and Daryl start to explore their true feelings, and it's time to turn up the heat just a tiny bit...**

Delilah's POV
I spent the whole time Daryl was gone thinking about him and replaying our date the day before in my mind. It was by far the best date I had ever been on, mostly because of the obvious effort he put into making it special. I knew that Carol helped with the food, but I had never dated a man who planned out something as simple as a picnic so well.

As I played with my daughter my mind kept returning to Daryl's response to Mercy. Watching him with her at the playground had touched my heart. But as I had recalled the story about the attempted abduction, he had become agitated. He had clearly been frustrated by feeling so helpless over something that happened in the past that he wasn't able to prevent. Even with a physical response to that story, he remained very gentle with her. My usual response to someone holding Mercy was to hover and worry that they might hurt her in some way. I had no fears that he would ever hurt her. He probably had a stronger protective paternal instinct than any man I had ever met, including my brother.

Watching this big, badass redneck with my tiny little girl stirred something in my heart.  We had only known each other a few weeks. There was an immediate physical attraction that neither of us could deny. But I was now feeling so much more for him than just physical desire. It surprised me to realize this. I usually kept men at an emotional distance... even after starting a physical relationship. I had been in a few relationships that lasted close to a year, but had never felt what I would have defined as 'love' for any of them.

I really wanted to reason this through the way I did all other issues I faced in life. What was I feeling for Daryl Dixon? He was such a contradiction! So tough, but gentle. He could threaten to stomp skulls while cuddling an infant on his chest. Passionate, but patient. He had no problem waiting until we were both ready to move forward with our relationship, but I knew that he wanted me as badly as I wanted him.

I hadn't counted on feeling more for him than I had for the other men in my past. I had to be honest with myself. I did have very strong feelings for him apart from the physical attraction. I wanted to spend time with him everyday. I missed him when we were apart. I enjoyed just being with him, even when we weren't sharing intimate moments.

When he had asked me about more children, I was a bit shocked to realize that he was considering a long term relationship. I was also surprised to realize that the possibility of someday having a baby and parenting together with Daryl was very appealing. In fact, it wasn't just appealing, it was something I very much wanted. Wow! That was a first.

I could easily see a future with Daryl in it, raising Mercy together, having another child (or even children), living together, staying together, loving each other, and being very happy together for many years. It was truly a horrible comparison when I tried to picture a future without him in it. I could be content and even satisfied raising Mercy on my own, but the joy and happiness that I saw with Daryl wasn't there. And the truth was, I didn't want a future without Daryl. Hmmm.

I knew that what I was really doing in examining my thoughts and feelings was like looking at a list of presenting symptoms and compiling a differential diagnosis list just like I did for my patients. I tried to tell myself that it doesn't really work to apply logic to matters of the heart, but old habits are hard to break. I seemed to be so close to zeroing in on something, but it was just outside my grasp. What was I missing?

There was a knock on the door, and I hurried to answer it. Daryl was standing there in his sleeveless flannel shirt and black jeans, and he had never looked better to me. He smiled as he met my eyes, and the look in his eyes made me tremble. There was clearly lust in his look, but there was much more there. I stepped towards him, wrapped my arms around his neck, and pressed my body against his. He put his hands on my ass and pulled my hips towards his groin. He lowered his head slowly and deliberately. He held his lips just a fraction of an inch from mine. Our breath mingled. I inhaled his scent. He smelled like man, leather, the woods, and... mmmm... sex.