Janus 02.Redemption #Wattys2018

4.04 The Impossible Choise

Eden took a step back. "That's impossible!" She thought but she didn't dare to speak. Ed took her hand and helped her lay down with her head on his legs. He was gently caressing her hair.

"I was so mad at you that I couldn't see anything at first. I couldn't listen to anything. I was there, I looked at you but I failed to see you. I was arguing with you but I didn't listen to you. My anger was standing between us till the moment you vanished behind the door at that hospital and I was left alone, standing in front of a closed door. I felt empty, deserted, and alone among strangers. I couldn't leave so I kept standing.

My hate was fading little by little. My anger was sand that kept slipping between my fingers. That's when I saw you even if you weren't standing in front of me. I saw you afraid of my touch in the dark, I listened to you crying in the shower and I saw you cutting pieces of yourself. I saw it all but I didn't see me anywhere. I went back in time. I searched for the moment that changed everything. I kept staring at the door till I figured it all out.

I left the hospital and I started wandering on the streets. I recalled your sudden fear of Max, his disrespectful comments on you, how you avoided any interaction with him. It was getting dark. I went to Max's building and I was waiting for him in an alley. He showed up eventually.

I grabbed him and dragged into the alley. He wasn't expecting that. Max kept asking what was wrong with me. I asked him nothing. I told him nothing. I just took my knife and stabbed him and then I stabbed him again and again and again till I was exhausted. I let myself fall on the ground. That was when I saw the ring I had given you hanging from a chain on his neck.

He had you chained. I broke the chain and took it. So that day two lives ended. You broke me. He had broken you. I killed him. You would never have to see him again. You would be afraid no more. You were free. At least that was I thought but I was wrong. You were never free. I could still hear you cry alone in the bathroom. You kept on cutting yourself. You were afraid even of me."

"I wasn't afraid of you" Eden interrupted Ed without moving.

"You were never the same after Max and I wasn't either. The only difference between you and me is that you didn't have a choice. I chose my undoing. You didn't."