69: Letting Go

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Alyx's POV


Days passed. I was working on home and will just go out for some meetings, ni-request ko talaga to kasi I don't want to be away from Nanay ng matagal. Mikko's almost staying with us too. Most days dito sya tumitigil. Not complaining though. I really love having him here. Parang feeling ko din mas nagiging happy si Nanay makita si Mikko.

But Nanay's not getting any better. She's always on her oxygen kasi nahihirapan syang huminga. Nahihirapan na rin syang magsalita but we still talked to her. And she just responds with the lit of her eyes and her smiles.

One night I woke up with Mikko's voice. He's talking to someone over the phone. He's sitting on the edge of the bed, and he's gripping the back of his neck.

'What? Again? Bakit di mo tinawagan agad? Buti nakarating kayo ng safe sa hospital. Ok. Calm down. He'll be okay. Kalma ka lang. I'll be there as soon as I can. Calm down ok. He'll be okay.'

He ended up the call and I sat back.

'Si Nikole ba yan? Sige na puntahan mo na.'

Napalingon sya sa gulat ng malamang gising na ko.

'Sorry. Did I wake you up?'

I shook my head no. 'Sige na,kailangan ka nya.'

'He's on the hospital again.'

'Kaya nga umalis ka na. Kawawa naman si Nikole mag-isa lang. At saka yung bata,baka kailangan ka nya dun.'

Ok. I am symphatyzing sa mag-ina. Pero the insecurity and jealousy of my voice is too obvious.

And I know he can sense it.

At sobrang mali. Kakasabi ko lang na tatanggapin ko na kahit hindi literal,meron pa rin syang reaponsibilidad dun sa bata. And seeing him now, I know he really wants to run there.

'Mikko,sige na.'

'Mamaya na lang. Nasa hospital na naman sila,may mga doktor na dun. I'll lay down with you again. Matulog ka na ulit. Maaga pa masyado--'

'Wag na. Sige na. Puntahan mo na sila.'

'Alyx?'

'Ok lang talaga. Wag mo kong isipin. I understand.'

I smiled my most convincing smile that it's ok.

'Thank you. Tawagan mo agad ako pag may nangyari. I love you. I love you.'

Then he was gone.

And I want to cry. Whut? Self? Seriously? Jusko. Umayos ka nga. Mikko's being so good to you? Can't you give him some credit?

Haayyy!!

Ahhh!! Erase. Erase. Stop overthinking self. Stop overthinking.

At dahil mukhang hindi na ako makakatulog ulit dito. Nagpunta ako sa kwarto ni nanay and hugged her pale cold body again. At hindi ko na namalayan I dozed off to sleep again.



Mikko's POV


Bret was admitted to a private room para mas ma-obserbahan. We talked to the doctor and we found out na may butas sa puso si Bret. And he'll do some tests para malaman kung dapat ba syang operahan.

'Mikko,ok na ko dito. Pwede mo na akong iwan. Ikaw na lang halos nag-asikaso ng lahat.'

'Ok lang. Yung phone ko?'

Inabot nya saken ang phone ko na hinabilin ko sa bag nya kanina.

Shit!! 2 Missed Calls from Alyx.

'Shit! Nikole,I need to go.'

'Ok! Salamat. Ingat ka. Dahan dahan lang pag-drive.'

I called her back habang palabas ng hospital.

'Baby?'

She doesn't respond,all I hear were her silent hauls.

'What happened? Pasensya na. Pauwi na ako.'

'M-mikko--'

'Baby,I'm going home na--'

'Mikko!! Si Nanay--' pinipigilan nyang umiyak. Ramdam ko sa lalim ng hugot ng hininga nya.

'Mikko,wala na si nanay!!'

My heart literally stops. Kinailangan kong tumigil sa paglalakad dahil biglang nanlambot ang tuhod ko.

'Shit baby!!'

Pero wala na kong oras para initindihin pa nararamdaman ko. Alyx needs me. She must be into so much now. At wala ako sa tabi nya.

Damn it!

'Baby,sino kasama mo? Andyan ba si Manang Fe? Pauwi na ko-- Hello? Hello.'

And the call ended.

And I drove home faster than I could. Faster than I think I could.

And I am expecting she's breaking down. I am expecting she's not on a good shape now,but no. She's ok. I can see she's wiping her tears. But she's calmly talking to the man from funeral service.

And when she saw me on the door, she widely open her arms and I ran to her then hold her the tighter I can.

'I'm sorry. I'm sorry ngayon lang ako.'

She shook her head.

'Ok lang. Ang mahalaga nandito ka na.'

I step away from her and hold her face,facing me.

'Are you okay?'

'No.' she painfully smiles.

'Baby--'

'But kaya ko. Masakit. Pero kaya ko. I need to settle Nanay. Ako lang naman aasahan nya. Wala na kong oras para mag break down--'

'Alyx,I can do this. Ako na bahala. Magpahinga ka muna. Anong gusto mo--'

'Wala. Ok lang. Let me do this. Gusto ko ako gumawa nito. Anak nya ako Mikko. Gusto ni Nanay na inaalagaan ko sya. Kaya kahit man lang sa huling pagkakataon I want to serve her. Gusto ko ako mismo.'

A tear prick on her left eye. And she smiles as I wipe away her tear.

'Baby,I'm so proud of you.'

'Alam mo ba after you left kanina lumipat ako sa kwarto nya. Then I held her on my arms. Mikko,she died in my arms.'

Tears springs on her eyes,both her eyes now. But she's half smiling.

'Alyx,we knew she's in so much pain. I don't want to let her go too. But maybe,this is better this way. Nahihirapan na din si Nanay.'

'Yes, I know. Kaya din siguro in peace ako as she left. Because I know she's in peace too. And andito ka naman e. Alam ni Nanay she left me with someone trustworthy.'

'I'll never break that trust.'

'I know. Nanay's happy for sure.'

'I'm glad your taking it this way.' I hugged her again as I kissed her head.

'No other way. Thank you for being here with me.'

'No other place I would be.'

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