Your Skin Taste of Sin (Ryan Sitkowski)

Screams of Lust We Cry

*Alesana's song Apology inspired the chapter's title*

And a short Author's Note a Thank You to xxBFMVAAMIWxx for making up the term Motionless Mistresses it is much easy to say that than the Motionless In White girlfriends. So this is for you xxBFMVAAMIWxx. Comment and Vote

Would it be insane to say that I seriously have no idea why I'm so afraid. There is no valid reason for fear to consume me whole.

Maybe I lost my marbles, or maybe I'm just scared to hear the words that I don't want to hear.

What will she say. Only one way to find out. I pulled into her apartment complex and my way through the buildings to get to her.

I parked my car in a empty spot and turned off the engine. Before I got out a felt my phone buzz in my pocket and I pulled it out and read a message from Chris.

It basically said the days we were playing shows in New York from Asking Alexandria's tour and what clubs they were.

I out my phone back in my pocket and then I opened the door, stepped out the car, and closed it as well as locking it.

I shoved the keys in my back pocket and walked up a few steps before I stood in front of Autumn's door.

Okay, Ryan there is no need to be freaking out about this. She might have just wanted to see you, well me, but you get what I'm saying.

I took a deep breath before I knocked gently on the door. And for some apparent reason I was holding my breath. God I really am weird.

A few seconds later the door is slowly opened revealing Autumn. She had her ebony hair down with a little bobby pin holding back a piece of hair from her heart-shaped face.

She was wearing a slightly over-sized black craft cult shirt that says Fuck the Westboro Baptist Church with black ripped black jeans.

She had her usual makeup, a smokey black eyeshadow that only made her emerald green eyes pop more.

"Hi," she said with a large smile. I returned a similar smile before she moved to the side. "Come in," she gesture me in.

I stepped into her house and looked around. The walls were painted a dark brick red color and had a bunch of animal bones hanging upon them.

The two windows in the living room were covered by black curtains that had a lace ruching. There was an antique black dresser that held many red and black candles. Some of them were lit which was the only light in the room.

I heard Autumn lock the door and walked around the coffee table and sat down on the black couch.

I followed her and sat fairly close to her. Her heartbeat was beating in sync with mine, at the same rate.

I looked at her as she stared at her hands. She was quiet, I didn't like that. I love hearing her voice.

I placed my hands over hers and hoped that she would look up at me. And she did. Her big green eyes held uncertainty which was very strange considering hoe confident she was.

Everything from the way she walked from the way she held herself up screamed confidence. And now she seems as unsure as I am.

"What's wrong?" I asked as I looked deep into her eyes.  She gave me a weak smile and let out a lazy sigh. Her eyes then fell back onto her hands that were beneath mine.

"Autumn please look at me," I said not being able to bare the thought of her eyes not looking at me. I wanted to know what was bothering her so much. I would do anything to make her feel better.

"I can't," she flatly said. "Why?"

"Because whenever I look at you I became completely flabbergasted. I'm usely a strong and dominant person but when it comes to you my knees grow weak and I feel a shortness of breath.  There's just something about you that draws me to you. I know we only just officially met but when I'm with you time slows down and I just want to be with you. Sounds ridiculous doesn't it, I mean you probably don't feel the same why."

Oh if only you knew.

"It's not ridiculous and I do feel the same way. I don't know any person that I have ever apologized more then once for being a douchebag. It's the way you feel about me, why is that so wrong?"

She looked up at me and I looked beyond her eyes. They held something different within them this time something I've never seen.

"I've never felt this way before and I honestly thought I never would. I didn't think any guy would have me head over heels for them," she exclaimed.

"I'm not just any guy I'm Ryan Sitkowski."

She released a small chuckle and rolled her eyes.

"Yes you are. It just seems impossible to feel this way about a person just in the short amount of time we've known each other. For evil's sake, this isn't a story in a book where the boy and girl fall in love immediately. This Is real life with real people and real emotions and feelings that can get hurt."

The longer I looked at Autumn's eyes the more I knew what that look she had in her eyes was.

"You're right about this being real life, but it doesn't mean it's not possible. I see it in your eyes you feel the same way I feel. This is more than just a crush. I lust for you and vice versa. It is overwhelming but I can show you that what I feel and what you feel is more than just a one time thing. We're playing a couple of shows in New York for Asking Alexandria's tour.  All the Motionless girls will come along if you want to you could too, just so I can show you that the impossible can be possible. "

A smile plastered onto her face and the worry was all gone. "I would like that," she said.

I took my hand from her hand and rubbed her cheek with my thumb. She took her hand from underneath mine and circled her arms around my neck and pulled my face closer to hers.

We were only millimeters away from each other's face before I pressed my lips on hers.

See Ryan you were freaking out about nothing