cupcake girl. | c.t.h |

beside you.

Monday.

I let the weekend pass before I could tell the guess I'd be going home instead of finishing the tour. Calum and I have been slowly drifting away, it's my fault cause I push him away. I talked to management and they said they understood and told me to wait until they could find my replacement.

I was talking to my mom on the phone, telling her that I would be going home soon. I told her I needed time to myself, I can't stay here and pretend that I'm okay.

"Lupe?" a soft knock was heard at my door after I hug up the phone.

"Yeah, Ashton?" I sit up from my bed.

"I never got to tell you how sorry I am," he looked down at his hands and he fumbles with his fingers. "It's my fault, not yours, I was supposed to be there with her."

"And why weren't you?!" I snapped, my jaw clenching.

"Nayeli found me when I was waiting for Isabell so naturally I started talking to her," his eyebrows furrowed in thought. "We were saying bye and I hugged her, I saw Isabell looking through the window and she ran."

I rolled my eyes before sighing because I felt like that wasn't the whole truth. I know that Ash and Nayeli were having something going on.

"I tried to run after her but she had ran into traffic and got hit. The car drove away without a word and I ran over to her. I called the ambulance and tried to be there for her."

"But you weren't! If you were then this would have never happened," I shook my head, then resting my forehead on my hands. "Leave, I don't want to see you until I have to."

"Yeah, okay," he mumbled. "I'm truly sor-"

"Now! Ashton," I pointed at the door and he nodded before scurrying out. I flopped back onto my bed as the tears begin to fall again. I curled into a ball as whimpers and sobs left my mouth.

-

"Lupe, Luke needs you to do his hair," I heard over the headset and I mumble back an 'alright'. I made my way to the boys' dressing room, made no conversation or eye contact with anyone.

Luke was already in the chair, I put some of the hair product in my hands then throught his hair. Styling the blonde the hair.

"20 minutes guys," I repeat what I heard over the headset after I finished Luke's hair. I quickly glance at each boy to make sure that they were ready, then giving them a thumbs up. "You guys should probably head backstage," I sighed and they nodded, leaving the room without a word.

Calum walked up to me and kissed my forehead, my eyes close before they can befin to water. "I love you, princess," before I could respond, he was already out the door.

I felt bad for him, I was pushing him away. He doesn't deserve to be hurt. I'm not doing it on purpose, it just happens.

-

"As you may or may not know, we lost a friend friday," I heard through out the stadium as I stood at the booth selling merch. I gasped softly and told Michelle to take over.

"She was Lupe's best friend and she became ours too," Mikey smiled softly as I ran backstage.

"She was a big part of our lives," Ashton spoke. I stood behind stage and I could see the boys from here.

"Well, we'd like to dedicate this song to her, it was her favorite," Luke spoke before the band started to play 'Beside You'. The crowd goes crazy as I being to tear up.

I remember before Isabell came on the tour we would facetime and she would dance around her bedroom to this song.

within a minute I was all packed up
I've got a ticket to another world
I don't wanna go
I don't wanna go

She didn't get to pack up and she left to a world where she would be alone. A world without us. Maybe she's happy but I don't believe that she wanted to go so soon.

when we both fall asleep,
underneath the same sky

Isabell had a trampoline in her backyard, I remember we would camp out on it. We would bring tons for blankets and lay on it. We stared up at the stars and talked about our future.

We planned out our whole lives. We were going to be each others childrens' godmothers. We'd be happily married and live in houses that were right next to each other.

so close but so far away
can you hear me?

"Isabell? Can you hear me from up there?" I spoke to myself, sitting on a random stool. My hands clasping together and I look up at the stary sky. "I miss you. I can't function properly without you," I whimper.

bring me back, bring me back to you

"Come back to me, show me a sign that you're with me," I sobbed into my hands. "I don't know what to do, I need your help, please."

and time stops, I wish that I could rewind

"I'm so sorry," I cry, "I wish I could rewind and prevent you from leaving the hotel. We could have had a spa day or something and you would have never seen Ashton with Nayeli."

she sleeps alone
my heart wants to come home
I wish I was, I wish I was

The song ends and I'm left sobbing in my hands backstage, sitting in a random stool. Hiccups starting from the crying as I tried to calm myself.

"You will be missed, Isabell," the boys spoke in unison. They played one more song after that and ran off stage.

"Lupe!"

I looked up from my hands and saw the boys jogging over to me. "That wa-as beautiful guys, th-thank you," I choked up.

"We miss her too," Mikey spoke. I stood up and they hugged me, I sighed softly. I hugged them tightly.

"Come on, let's go to the dressing room," Calum spoke softly and they all pulled away. He took my hand and I let him intertwine our fingers, they fit perfectly like 2 puzzle pieces.

A/N: sorry for these depressing chapters :P