The Thunder Kings Girl (BOOK 2)

Part 21

It was only getting harder here. They didn't know I was the cause of their favorite god escaping but they still treated me like shit. I think I've been here only three days or so? That's in earthland time while here it's been about three months so it's as one can only imagine been a long longtime since I have seen the sun though for some it seems a lot less then one would really expect of the whole philosophy of time equivalents in the whole different realm situation. What can one do about it though? Not like I can use magic with the way that my hands happened to be cuffed and the enchantments on zed object are restricting any magic flow throughout my body or really anything of that sorts.

My heart yearned for that piece of hope. That hope that I knew they would come yet the fear that I knew they would not be true to know as my main question was basic! Would they know who they were up against just by Rae's descriptions of them? Would they begin to process that maybe it was better for them and for myself if they just left me behind? Wouldn't that be better? It's not one's real intent to know they could take away a child's parents but if Lucius could just have one of us I'd let him after all this place if not handled with care could mean certain death which was not a thought I like to know since it could leave some people parentless and alone in the world so yes, while I hope for them to come I also pray that they do not.

Fear's a funny thing it is isn't it? What can we really claim as fear? I mean I'm fearful right now in my own right of course I mean who wouldn't be knowing that death was soon a possibility for them? I'm not so sure that it's something that I can be aware of without knowing really! Fear is always in me as I fear my powers, my weaknesses, my kind heart, and my love for those I call family. Those are things that can be used against me without a single hesitation yet here I am knowin it all! That my love won't stop coming for me until I'm safe with him and until these gods are dead or have surrendered though we should all know that is not a possible reality with stubborn pompous assholes! It's like their that brother who wants to watch you suffer in agony yet helps you only when he needs to and like that sister who steals everything you own just to get you riled up and all flustered when you have to wear a crappy sweater around! Yes Fear was an everyday aspect of my life and I sit here knowing I could be the death of my friends, of my family, of my son...

Of Laxus.

I drew in a shaky breath at that mere second knowing that this would never become easier to handle! That was the reality of life and death as both made you fear what they were capable of and one could not be without the other so in death there was life and in life there would be death which isn't all that odd when you think about it. Death is in life when a parent, friend, or loved one dies and life is in death because it may be you who was living a few moments ago but is now ready to be laid down in a casket to be put in the earth and buried as if it were some sacred tribute to you.

My eyes drew to the misty rain outside where I breathed in a single breath tears freely falling as I hung my head in shame for I knew I was more likely to die than to live and in that process? Bring down everyone I loved! Oh god forbid I show a bit of humanity right? I mean it's natural of me! As pathetic as I am I know one day I'll die and these powers will become a burden on the person I'm forced to choose but I only hope that when that day comes if it ever comes they'll be prepared for the burden that is the magic that everyone yearns for once in their life so yes I hope that it's ending soon as I know the longer I stay the more I put those I love in danger so yes death may come for me and I know that no matter what there will always be happiness in me for every moment in my life that I was given! There is no shame in death and humiliation that I know now so if I must be someone I'm not to become who I am then I will for I can't bare to know that there are people out there risking their lives for me out in this weather and hoping they can make it to me in time!

Yes. I know it all now. There is always a way to be sad and angered so while I reminisce on all of this watching the rain drizzle upon the earth I will remember who it is I need to fight for because it's a sort grace on me to be the one to know I can protect those I care about if it comes down to them or to me that? That is not something these chains can bind into me because it's a feeling, a hope, a happiness, a joy, and a laugh so no I won't be taken lightly because if I need to? I'll go down fighting and let the ground turn red if it means protecting those who mean the world and more to me.

I could only look into the mist feeling as if it was a reflection of my life. I've been so confused on who I am and who I'm meant to be. Am I supposed to be the daughter of Fairy Tail's first master and the Dark wizard? Am I supposed to be the sister of my goofy twin forever? Am I supposed to be a mother without any worry about the rest? And really am I really the material a man needs as a wife? Am I meant to be the wife of the most loving man I've come to know? Am I really supposed to be with someone as sweet, loving, cheerful, yet pompous as Laxus Dreyar? Can I really be all of them when I can't even be who I am?

Hope I shall that they aren't as stupid as they used to be.

Save me or not.

I will always be a Fairy Tail Wizard until the end of time.