Wattpad Clichés

07. She's Not the Man

7. A BIG DICK AND A SMALL BRAIN?

WATTPAD'S FEMALE LEADS are known to be some of the weakest female characters I've ever read about in my life. I'm not even exaggerating - the girls of these stories are practically triple threats: brainless, cliche, and weak.

And honestly, by now, I'm kinda over how these girls try to act more than what they are. Other readers may see that shit as "funny" or "adorable", but I'm pretty irritable, and I see that shit as annoying.

They do idiotic things that in a real life situation would get them killed (like somehow outsmarting a kidnapper by kicking them in the balls or saying some stupid shit like "Look, a bird!" and then taking off running), and I guess I can understand that it's realistic fiction, but how can it be realistic fiction without beING FUCKING REALISTIC??

Sorry, these types of books piss me off. BUT ANYWAYS. I'm just gonna hop right into it.

So we have this idiot ass good girl (I emphasized idiot because aren't these bitches supposed to be smart like wtf) who, up until a certain point in the book, is incredibly smart, you know? An A-student, and never gotten into a bad situation. But all of a sudden, she meets this bad boy and she loses her damn mind.

And when I say that, I mean all this crazy stuff happens to her, like random dudes trying to rape her or her getting offered drugs and stuff. (AND SOMETIMES BECAUSE SHE GETS THIS NEW FEELING OF BADNESS FROM BEING WITH A BAD BOY, SHE FEELS THE NEED TO TAKE THESE DRUGS YANNO).

That just.. doesn't make any damn sense.

WHAT'S SERIOUSLY SO COOL ABOUT DRUGS AND THESE DANGEROUS SITUATIONS??

I know you're thinking, "wtf mackenzie that shit happens to anyone at any time it ain't planned", but it really confuses me and turns me off of a story.

HAVE Y'ALL NOTICED HOW ANNOYING I AM LIKE I GET ANNOYED AT THE CRAZIEST SHIT.

They get with these bad boys and they start thinking they're hot shit, like stepping up to kidnappers and stuff.. but weren't they a stuttering mess that couldn't answer a single question just a few chapters ago?

Wattpad authors, let's write some shit that adds up.

Now, I guess it's a bit exceptable(thats not a word but wtevz) if she was a bad ass from the jump, but if she had a random epiphany and became a bad ass... no.

AND WHAT FUCKING IDIOT IS REALLY GONNA BE A SARCASTIC FUCKING SMART ASS WHEN A POTENTIAL KILLER IS WAVING A BIG ASS GLOCK IN THEIR FACE?

Are these hoes fucking insane??

If someone is telling me to shut the hell up while waving a gun in my face, best BELIEVE I'm gonna shut the fuck up and I'd probably be so intimidated, that I'd become a mute for the rest of my life.

And for the fucking comments that say "IM NOT GONNA LET SOME DUDE PUNK ME OUT BECAUSE HE HAS A GUN LIKE GOT ME FUCKED UP".. You're an idiot like no these ppl probably trained take several seats, honey.

Plus, I seriously doubt a potential killer can be outsmarted by you. I mean, we do have these stupid ass criminals out there that are beginners and stuff(.-.), but these girls are out here fooling trained hitmen that are in the mafia and stuff, as if that's completely realistic.

As if they haven't done it a gazillion times already and probably have had the same tricks tried on them. As if this girl is really that smart. LIKE OBVIOUSLY THE MAFIA OR WHATEVER GANG PEOPLE YAKUZA PEOPLE AREN'T HIRING AMATEURS OBVIOUSLY FUCKING CHILL.

ALSO, IT FREAKING KILLS ME HOW THEY GET ALL FRIENDLY WITH THESE PEOPLE THAT BE KIDNAPPING THEM AND STUFF.

Like this dude just broke in your house and tied up your parents, and you wanna play Uno?

.. I'll just leave that thought there to let my viewers think about. Like do I even need to go in depth about how stupid that sounds? I would be freaking trying to help my family wtf.

I think my last and final point will include their active stupidity.

How can you be the smartest girl in the whole book, valedictorian and shit, but you get in front of this dude and you turn into a dumb hoe? Like I don't know if your brain cells flip off because a moderately cute dude comes in front of you, but you can't go from being a smart ass boss ass bitch to being a stupid ass trash ass bitch because you got in bed with some good dick.

It just is really annoying how they are supposed to be super smart, yet they do and say all this stupid stuff and it's kinda like????

What happened to all this smartness you possessed at the beginning of the book?

Did you get bigger balls and a smaller brain because ya girl Big Daddy Mac gotta know.

Don't tell me my prediction actually happened, in which some idiot ass good girl thinks it's a good idea to skip school ONCE with a boy and suddenly gets a "rush"(?? what the fuck) off of that and started doing it consistently, in which some girl becomes a drop out. Like I swear I predicted that. PROMIZE.

So yeah, if you see a girl who seems like a really smart girl(or at least has the potential to be smart) acting like a huge dumb ass in front a boy, throw a huge ass dictionary at her and tell her she needs Jesus because.. Well, she's being Cliche, but that bitch needs Jesus more.

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ask me questions bc im bored and i like answering questions. makes me feel important. ANY QUESTIONS: i promise my advice is superb btw.

THANK YOU TO THE LOVELY PEOPLE WHO RECOMMENDED DEATH PARADE TO ME.
i promise you i did not expect that feels roller coaster, and i legit cried because it was freaking amazing. like, it better have a freaking second season, but i honestly dont know where it would pick up at. so thanks for that beautiful recommendation. and i recommend it to people who.. like to think of the deeper meaning in things. you know? it's 10/10 for me.

IM WATCHING SO MANY RECOMMENDATIONS THOUGH YOU GUIS THANK YOU SO MUCH ILY ALL.

ALSO THIS MIGHT NOT MAKE ANY SENSE BECAUS IT KINDA WENT MORE IN DEPTH IN A TOPIC THAT WAS JUST A SUBTOPIC BUT YEAH.