Wattpad Clichés

53. Turtle Farts!!¡¡

RECENTLY I HAVE GOTTEN INTO TWICE. I MEAN I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN ON THE VERGE OF STANNING BUT I STARTED STANNING AND THEY'RE HONESTLY SO PRECIOUS. THEIR JAPANESE LINE IS LIKE MY FAVORITE FOREIGN LINE EVER I LOVE THEM. AND LOOK AT MY BIAS JIHYO, I S2G I FLIP THE FUCK OUT WHEN SHE HAS STRAIGHT HAIR DURING THEIR STAGES.

53. ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP BOOKS

I DON'T ACTIVELY READ these books (I mean who would read these on the regular, they're sometimes pretty graphic) and I probably never will, but I have before. And they're weird. And sad. And they make you think like hella hard. I hate thinking hard.

But these books basically start with a girl in this perfect new relationship with a jocky football player or just an all american boy next door with blonde hair and a nice pretty smile.

YANNO WHAT, at this point it's good for her. Ik that for me, it's MAD rare to have a crush that likes you back okay. So it pisses me off in the comments when people are like "lol dumb bitch he's gonna start beating you" because if you go into a relationship automatically thinking that some guy will beat you, you need help.

Like seriously people, I'm sure the world would be a much better place if you can look at someone and tell if they're gonna beat the shit out of you behind closed doors. But that's not the case so get real. It's a book calm down.

CUNTS.

I just contradicted myself.

Anyways, it's all going good for them until one night, he comes from a crazy football game (or basketball game or whatever the fuck he's in) that his team lost and goes to this bangin party and gets drunk or whatever.

And he calls himself going home to her house and she gets mad that he is drunk or wtv because she cares about him and I guess he doesn't like that. I mean idek what guy would get mad that his girlfriend cares about him but apparently this dude did.

Then one thing leads to another and thEN BAM BITCH SHE'S GETTING FUCKING PUNCHED IN HER FACE OR WHATEVER?

LIKE WHO TF ARE YOU TO HIT SOMEONE BC YOUR TEAM LOST AND YOU'RE MAD AND YOUR GIRLFRIEND CARES ABOUT YOU. IF YOU HAD H A N D L E S LIKE THAT YOU WOULDNT HAVE FUCKING LOST. DONT COME FOR ME BITCH.

I swear to God I could never be in a relationship like I freaking dare my boyfriend to hit me or yell at me or anything like that. Dramas and Animes have made me a very angry person like I yell at my bed post when my foot hits it. You will get stomped.

So yeah that's the door to domestic abuse!! ((:

Then he profusely apologizes and makes some bullshit ass story about how he's sorry and that he will never do it again..

AND THEN HE DOES IT AGAIN! AND AGAIN! AND AGAIN! IN DIFFERENT INSTANCES! AND BEATS THE SHIT OUTTA HER!

Idk how she lets this go on for such a while, plus this girl is in High School and is young and doesn't deserve to be treated like that and demeaned. I mean ik it's just a book but I can't help but get passionate about it.

THEN SHE MEETS.. maybe a bad boy ? Idk sometimes it's just a regular guy in her class like ya never know with clichés nowadays they're getting more normal as the time goes or wtv. Trying to be not cliché which makes them even more cliché.

He starts talking to her but she keeps her distance bc she is scared of what will happen when that piece of shit finds out but yANNO WHO CAN RESIST THE BAD BOY CHARMS. So you know how that turns out with her talking to him and getting friendly and cruSHIN OR WTV

THEN THE TURTLE FART FINDS OUT! (He's a turtle fart because turtles are cute and you expect them to be cute and to not do nasty things but yanno turtles fart and he is the nasty turtle fart).

Of course he threatens her and tells her that if he finds out about the abuse and bruises he will either:

A.) Beat the shit out of her

B.) Beat the fuck out of her

There's definitely a difference. Shit comes out of her for one and fuck comes out for another. I'm disgusting.

But then he's dumb af and beats her AGAIN but this time is different bc the bad boy finds out about her bruises because she doesn't know what color corrector is and he goES SUPER SAIYAN!!¡¡

Yes Daddy 😍😫👅💦 Whoop that ass.

AND THEN HE DOES JUST THAT! He gets his goons and they proceed beat the shit out of him. Yes. This is what needs to happen: books and movies need to go my way.

But then it gets mad unrealistic when him kicking his ass just automatically eliminates the problem of him with no authorities or anything? Our BB Savior didnt call the police or wtv? Whatever.

Because beating the shit out of someone solves all the world's problems on Wattpad.

YEAH SO SHE GETS WITH HIM AND ALL THE CRAZINESS DISAPPEARS AND THEY GET TOGETHER AND NO ABUSIVENESS!

But yanno those stories leave a touch in my heart because it's about something super relevant nowadays but it has a really good ending instead of a bad ending and it lets ya lowkey stay woke so lowkey stay woke.

If some dude calls himself losing his mind and hitting you, hit him with a fucking glass pan bc my Mom told me that my Aunt did that to a guy once and messed up his back pretty bad. Not to mention scratched it up. YOU WANT TO HURT THEM OKAY THEY'RE MAD CLICHÉ.

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i kinda decided that i may go to 60 or 55 idk bc honestly i would feel so uncomfortable leaving off on a number thats not a multiple of five. ((:

DONALD TRUMP IS OUR PRESIDENT YOU GUYS UNFORTUNATE BUT TRUE. IF YOU WERE A LOWKEY TRUMP SUPPORTER ACTING LIKE A HILLARY SUPPORTER TURN YOUR LOCATION ON HOE BC APPARENTLY ITS A MAD AMOUNT OF YALL SINCE THERE SEEMED LIKE THERE WERE NO TRUMP SUPPORTERS BUT TRUMP IS PRESIDENT.

or maybe it was old country white people.

then again, my parents are very old and very country (well my mom is bc she's from texas) very white and very well voted for jill stein.