skinny love ; phan

22 ; the talk

[dan]

lunch time had came, lunch had ended with phils arm wrapped around dans waist holding him protectively. phil didn't let dan go to the cafeteria and held him inside of the art class where no one was.

dan and phil hadn't moved away from each other all day and it was a lie to say dan didn't enjoy it.

dan loved the way how close they were again, but hated it at the same time.

by the end of the day, everybody knew dan was back. dan told dodie that he would have a group call with everyone later that night or the next day to explain everything.

dan invited phil to his house, which phil gladly accepted.

now they had just arrived at dans house, they were sitting in his room. muse played quietly in the background from his stereo.

"d-do you want some green tea?" dan asked suddenly, breaking the comfortable silence.

"of course." phil replied sweetly, giving dan a small smile.

dan smiled back, pushing himself up and heading downstairs. while he was making tea, he made himself a snack.

his doctor told him to eat more than usual because of his weight loss from not eating for five days.

after dan finished eating and their tea was finished, he walked upstairs to give phil his tea.

when he entered his room he noticed phil looking at something, dan set the tea down carefully.

"what're you looking at?" dan asked, tilting his head to the side- a habit dan had gotten obsessed with.

"i cant believe you still have this, hasn't it been.. four years?" phil began, looking down at the polaroid of dan and his first teenage party.

"i thought i got rid of that." dan said, giving a small frown. phil cocked his eyebrow up.

"you wanted to get rid of this?" phil asked, sadness dipping into his tone.

"well, yeah. i was getting rid of our memories cause of the thing with tyler." dan said, the last part barely audible.

phil visibly sighed and slouched. "speaking of, we have to talk about that." dan added sitting on the other side of the bed, away from phil.

"why did you do it?" dan asked, tears brimming his eyes but he was quick to blink them away.

phil sighed, tugging his raven black hair. "i dunno." he replied. dan glared.

"you have a reason, and if you don't you're a complete asshole." dan shot back.

"you know dan i don't feel like telling you." phil spat, glaring daggers at dan.

"well you should at least give me an explanation why you saved me then!" dan shouted, tears now freely falling.

phil frowned, his glare quickly disappearing. "come 'ere" phil mumbled, opening his arms.

dan set down his tea, crawling over to phil and crying into his shoulder. "j-just tell me phil. tell me why you lied to me, then saved me." he cried.

phil shook his head and dan felt phils phone vibrate. "my dad wants me home." phil whispered rubbing dans back as he looked at his phone.

"well you're not going to tell me, so just leave and don't talk to me until you're going to tell me." dan whispered harshly, removing phils hand and standing up.

"leave." dan said, a hint of sadness in his voice. phil nodded, picking his bag up and leaving dan alone.

-

"hey dan, how are you?" tyler asked, slowly approaching dan who was sat on his bed reading a book.

"ya tyler?" dan asked, setting his book down focusing on tyler.

"why did you leave?" tyler asked bluntly, dan bit his lip. dans gaze looks out his window, as rain patters it lightly. he can tell another storm is coming.

"i don't know if i'd like to say it now as i am not comfortable. but you deserve an explanation." dan mumbled, barely audible but tyler caught on.

tyler walked over, sitting next to dan on the bed. dan sighed, and tyler leaned in interested and paying full attention.

"before i left, i was at the park.. smoking and my lighter stopped working. i got upset but then phil appeared, telling me to come to his cause i was a mess. when i got to his he said something along the lines of.." dan explained, stopping to catch his breath.

"'sex is a good stress reliever' being me in the state i was, i accepted it. so y'know, we had," dan gulped. "sex. the day after i was talking to him and he said he didn't love me and didn't care for me. it kind of set me off, so i got a fake id and shit. bought alcohol, i drank and i decided i was going to leave that night. but when i did leave i got lost in the forest, and i just gave up. i lost my hope and i was going to end it, but phil found me and brought me to the hospital." he spoke, out of breath at the end. that was the most talking dan has done all day.

tyler sighed leaning back, mumbling 'he did the same thing to me'.

tyler wrapped his arms around dans waist, pulling him in for a hug. dan didn't hug back, just stared at the plain wall in front of him.

"t-thanks for telling me, y'know? i appreciate it." tyler said, standing up uncomfortably. dan simply nodded opening his book again.

tyler was about to protest, but he closed his mouth and left dan alone to read peacefully. dan would have to thank tyler for leaving him alone and not budging to get every detail of his absence.

-

later that night, dan left to go to the park. but his mum made him go with tyler, everyone was still worried that dan was going to leave again so he had to go with someone.

tyler followed dan, not trying to make much of a conversation. they walked in comfortable silence, when they reached the park tyler sat on the metal swing.

while dan sat on the silicone slide, pulling out a cigarette and lighter. tyler groaned, "you're still smoking?" he asked in disgust.

dan shrugged lighting it, putting it in his mouth inhaling the toxic smoke. tylers nose scrunched up, "disgusting." he said. tyler was always one to judge with things like that, dan didn't mind or have a care in the world from it.

"dan can we go soon please? i can't stand seeing you smoke." tyler spoke, quiet and timid hoping his older brother would agree.

dan nodded, getting up from the silicone slide and stomping out his cigarette which was halfway done.

-

dan sat on his bed, his macbook in front of him. it was opened to skype in a groupchat with all his friends.

dan bit his fist as his finger hovered above the mouse, that was aimed on the call button. he thought about it until he had decided.

the blue dots bobbed up and down, until everyone answered (surprisingly) everybody's pixelated screens became clear.

"hey guys."