A Love Worth Having

THE BEGINNING OF FOREVER

I still had flu symptoms and after two straight weeks of feeling nauseous and tired, I decided to go to my doctor so he could prescribe me something for my stomach because my bug kept getting worse. Dell and the boys were at a video shoot for the song that Dell had written in memory of Meechie, when I went to the doctor. I had to get lab work done in order for the doctor to determine why I had been so sick. My doctor had been my doctor for some time and we had quite a rapport with one another. When he walked into the exam room he said: "the only thing I can recommend for your stomach is prenatal pills". I was so exhausted and I'm not sure that I fully understood the scope of his words so I said "I never knew prenatal pills help with stomach viruses?" he replied, "they don't, but they help with babies". I started crying. My stomach virus wasn't a virus at all, it was an embryo because I was 4 weeks pregnant. Dell and I conceived the night of Meechie funeral. I didn't want to tell Dell while he was at the video shoot, so I called Kassidy at work. When she answered I said "you cursed me, you and all your baby breathing germs. Now I have a nine-month virus" she started laughing really hard.

"Are you telling me that you are pregnant" she frantically probed.

"That's what the doctor said. What the hell am I going to do? I'm too old for this shit!".

"1st of all congratulations and 2nd of all you are going to love the baby with all of your heart like you do Zay and Valente" she replied.

I started imagining how fat and ugly and demanding I would be.

"He's going to leave me" I whined.

"Stop worrying about everything, you'll be fine" she responded.

We wrapped up our conversation because she had to get back to work.

I went home and cooked some spaghetti, fried catfish and garlic bread and by the time my crew came home the food was ready and I was really nervous. Cordell gave me a kiss and I blurted out "I have to tell you all something after we eat".

We enjoyed our meal as a family. They talked about the video shoot and Valente and Zay were so excited. I barely ate because I was so anxious. I didn't know how any one of them would react. I got up and went into the bedroom and I summoned for Dell.

"Do you still want kids?" I anxiously asked.

"Yes, why?" he was just as anxious as me.

"Cordell, I went to the Dr. today and it turns out I don't have the flu at all. I'm pregnant". I barely got all of the words out before he pulled me as close to him as humanly possible and he kissed me.

"You're not mad?"

"No, I'm not. How pregnant are you?"

"Four weeks. The date of conception is the day of Demetrius funeral."

He looked to the sky and said: "my boy talked to God for me".

"Are you okay? you need anything?" he questioned.

"I just want to lay down".

He fluffed my pillows and helped me lay on the bed. He went into the kitchen and I heard him say "WE ARE GOING TO HAVE A BABY" and the boys came running into the room and they said "congratulations". I knew Zay would be okay, he had been a big brother for 14 years but Valente was used to being the youngest child not to mention he was a momma's boy. I looked at him and asked "Valente are you okay?" he said, "I'm good, you good?" I laughed and said, "I'm good". Dell said to the boys "put up the food and clean the kitchen. I'm going to stay in here with her". When they left out he closed and locked the door behind them. I was surprised because they took his directives without protest. They did exactly what he asked them to do and at that moment I knew that everything would be alright. Cordell said "sit up" and when I did he fluffed all of the pillows and propped them on his side of the bed and when he leaned back against them I laid my head on his chest. He said, "You are my top priority. Your happiness and your well-being means more to me than anything". I started crying because I couldn't figure out what I had done to deserve a perfect partner like Dell. Everything that Xavier Sr. lacked in our marriage, Dell more than made up for it. The next day we went to his parents' house and broke the news and as always they surprised me because they were elated. They never talked down to him or said "you are too young; you have your whole life to have children or you guys barely know each other" even though they could've. They were confident in the son that they raised and they let him relish in his happiness.