A Love Worth Having

NOTHING COSTS SO MUCH

September the 30th we celebrated Dell's birthday/the anniversary of when he proposed to me in Hawaii. My birthday is October the 22nd but I hadn't celebrated my birthday since I was 6. My kids understood why I didn't celebrate and I explained to Cordell he'd better not utter Happy Birthday to me because that would be enough to make me divorce him. I had a younger brother named Valentino and he had sickle cell anemia. He died from an infection related to the disease on my seventh birthday and my birthday never felt like a special occasion ever since then, so I've never celebrated.

November 26th was our first wedding anniversary. That time we chose to vacation in Fort Myers Beach, Florida. We enjoyed the pristine white sand beaches and the exquisite cuisine; we had an amazing time. Zay's birthday is December the 2nd and Dell got him a brand new car that year, a Toyota Camry. Needless to say that Zay was overjoyed. That year we also hosted Christmas at our new house. I invited my sister Cynthia because I wanted to put our past behind us once and for all. We shared a real hug with one another and although it had been more than a year since she almost destroyed me and Dell's relationship she gave us both a very heartfelt apology. She even apologized to Kassidy for the way she acted towards her in our younger years. It felt good to be surrounded by people whom I loved and it felt especially good to leave the past in the past.

Dell hadn't performed in such a long time, he had basically become a social media artist. He would release a song and put it on social media and he earned money from the views that his songs and videos received. He was still making nice money but I knew he missed making 10 thousand dollars per show. The second week of February marked 8 months since he had last performed. He was preparing to stop rapping all together and focus on producing. Lowell called him and said that he had a performance lined up that would pay $20,000 because he was going to open for a superstar artist. Cordell agreed that he would do it but he told me it would be his last performance. The show was in Chicago, Illinois and he discussed it with me and I agreed that he should do it but I declined his offer to accompany him. I said to him "once you get that money you are going to want to start performing all the time". He replied, "nope this will be my last time because I can make way more money producing". The show was scheduled for Saturday, February the 25th 2012.

I had gained 17 pounds in the previous five months. I didn't understand why because I was eating a healthy diet and I hadn't consumed wine since before I found out I was pregnant with baby Cordell. I was sluggish and my metabolism had slowed to an all-time low not to mention my hormones were raging. Dell and I started to walk 2 to 3 miles a day almost every day. Walking strengthened our relationship because walking with him always made me so happy which in turn made me incredibly horny so it was a win, win for the both of us. Just before he left to perform we had sex and he said "since you've gained weight your thighs have gotten so big" and I asked if he still felt like I was sexy. He assured me that he was still attracted to me and his actions proved it because sex with him had become more incredible.

He left for his performance on the morning of February 24th and he was scheduled to come home on Sunday, February 26th. The day of his show he called me and told me that he was so excited to perform. When we talked I said, "baby, I hope you have a great show but don't worry about calling me tonight because I'm going to sleep, I'm tired". I urged him to hurry home to me that next day. When he was on his way home he called me and said "I love you more than anything please remember that". I said, "I know that you do, I can't wait to see you because I want to show you exactly how much I love you".

Sunday's in our home are generally peaceful to begin with, but it was extra quiet in our house that day. The boys were playing video games in the basement when I heard Dell pull into the driveway. I had timed his arrival perfectly as my hair was wet and curly like he loved it and I had on some sexy underwear. I wanted to ravage him when he walked through the door. When he walked into our room I opened my robe to expose my sexy lingerie. I gave him a kiss on the lips but he looked depressed.