ANXIETY (𝘫𝘰𝘩𝘯𝘯𝘺𝘣𝘰𝘺)

Chapter 14

Status: edited

Aye this chapter goes out to one of my best friends Egt311 who is literally the greatest. Love yoooouuuu

Johnny's P.o.V.

The most beautiful

I yawned sleepily and opened my eyes, letting the burning light through. I was a bit confused as to where I was, but then I remembered.

Pony told me he liked me back. I kissed him. Soda let us sleep in the same bed.

My head was laying on his chest and my leg was wrapped around his waist. Pony was already up, running his fingers through my hair.

I chuckled lightly and he pulled me close to him. "What's so funny?"

I looked up at his pretty pale face and kissed his lips softly. "What's up with you and my hair?"

He sighed. "S-sorry. It's soft. I like it."

I frowned. "I'm not mad, I think it's cute. What's wrong?"

He shook his head. "N-nothing."

I gave him a disbelieving look and he sighed. "I don't know...something just feels wrong."

I sat up and sighed. "What do you mean?"

He gave me a half smile. "Never mind, I'm just being paranoid."

I bumped him with my shoulder and stood up. "I'm gonna go use the bathroom, okay?"

Pony nodded and stood up as well, changing into day clothes.

While I was brushing my teeth, I spotted something on the ground. Leaning closer to examine it, I realized what it was and my face went white.

A razor blade.

My breathing quickened as I quickly flushed it down the toilet. Maybe it's old?

I quickly went back to Pony's room and saw him staring at himself in the mirror, poking at his stomach.

I watched him for a few minutes, and saw how he viewed himself. I sighed and walked up behind him, wrapping my arms around his waist from behind.

"You gotta stop that, you know?" I kissed the spot behind his ear. "You're perfect."

He didn't respond.

I thought he went to the hospital. Why was he still having doubts like this? He seemed to be reading my mind, because almost immediately after I thought that, he said: "it doesn't cure you, you know?"

"What do you mean?" I wished so bad that I could just understand him. I knew I'd never be able to know what he's going through.

"The hospital. It helps, but they can't fix everything in a week. Hell, in a year. Some stuff stays, other stuff goes away."

I remembered that terrible voice that plagued him. That must have been something that left.

"I'm sorry." I mumbled. "I really am."

He turned around and shyly kissed me. "I'm fine, you make it better."

I smiled, but then remember the predicament in the bathroom. "Ponyboy...I found a razor blade on the floor. You're not-"

"-No, I promise." He cut in and I let out a premature sigh of relief. "I was throwing the rest of my old stash away. I must have dropped one."

I smiled in relief and he smiled back at me. "I'm going downstairs and getting some breakfast. Do you want some?"