ANXIETY (𝘫𝘰𝘩𝘯𝘯𝘺𝘣𝘰𝘺)

Chapter 12

Status: edited

Johnny's P.o.V.

The waiting was starting to scare me.

I sat on the couch, tapping my feet nervously. I had left last night before I could find out his reaction, and now I was scared to death.

I could have just ruined everything between us. What if he never talks to me again? What if he tells the gang that I'm a queer and they beat me up?

The thought made my bottom lip quiver and I curled up into a ball on the couch, begging tears not to fall.

It was only Pony and I home, so at least I was safe for a few more hours. I didn't even want to think about what would happen after that.

The stairs creaked and I jerked my head up. Ponyboy was slowly walking down. "H-hey Johnny."

I stared nervously. "Hi."

He came and sat down beside me. "I read all of the letters again."

I gulped and nodded. "A-and?" He sighed and I lost it. "Look I know you don't feel the same way, just please don't tell anybody about this. I'll be disowned! The gang will beat me up!"

He looked at me wide eyed. "Johnny, I would never-"

Someone knocked on the door. Pony and I both looked at each their questioningly. No one ever knocks on the door.

He groaned and stood up, with a pissed off expression. "Hold that thought."

I was hoping that whoever was at the door would notice that Pony was upset and go away.

I watched as he opened the door. "What?" He asked annoyed. But his frown melted away and was replaced with one of the biggest grins I've ever seen. "Jeffy!" He yelled and tackled his friend into a hug.

I wanted to kick and scream. Of course he'd show up now.

"What are you doing here?" Pony laughed and led him inside.

Jeffy, I wanted to roll my eyes just thinking about him, smiled. "I had to come see you one last time."

Pony frowned. "What do you mean?"

Jeffy decided to ignore the question, and instead direct the conversation to me. He noticed me and waved.

Ponyboy seemed to remember that he had another friend in the world and looked at me too. "Oh, sorry!" He laughed and then grabbed Jeffy's hand and led him over to me.

I watched their held hands and winced a bit.

"Johnny, this is Jeffy, Jeffy, this is Johnny."

Jeffy stuck out his arm. "Nice to meet you. Pony talked about you a lot."

I couldn't help but give a smug grin, but then remembered that Pony had also talked about him a lot too. Reluctantly, I shook his hand. "Hi, pony's talked a lot about you too."

Ponyboy blushed a little. "Well do you wanna go out to eat or something?"

Jeffy grinned. "Yeah sure, know any good places?"

"A McDonalds just opened up, we could go there."

I sighed softly. The new McDonalds was a hotspot for couples.

Jeffy smiled. "Yeah that sounds great. Johnny, you wanna come too?"

I was a bit taken aback when he asked me to come. I didn't expect that to happen at all. But what surprised me the most was that Jeffy had asked. Not Pony.

I tried, for Pony's sake, to at least act nice. So I slapped on a fake smile and stood up. "Yeah, sure. Thanks for inviting me."

Jeffy smiled. "Well I wanted to get to know you."

We all started walking outside. Pony and Jeffy were engaged in a conversation about somebody named Karen.

I sighed, feeling left out. When we got to McDonald's we all ordered some ice cream and sat in a booth.

Jeffy and Pony on one side and me on the other. Talk about being a third wheel.

"So Jeffy, do you like movies?" I asked, trying to include myself.

He thought about it for a second. "No, they always end up boring me to death."

"Oh." That almost made me mad. Ponyboy loved movies. How could he like him like that?

But as it turned out, Jeffy not liking movies was his only flaw.

He kept talking to me, and the more he talked, the more I could see why Pony liked him. He was so nice.

I didn't want to like him, but I did. I wouldn't blame Pony if he wanted to date him. I'm getting ahead of myself. Ponyboy probably isn't even gay.

When we got back home Pony took Jeffy to his room, leaving me behind. He said he wanted to show him something.

I knew I shouldn't, but I got curious, so I went by the door and tried to listen. I couldn't help but think that they were talking about me.

"You'll never guess what Johnny did!" Pony said.

"What?"

"Remember the notes he gave me? Well look at the new one!"

I gasped lightly.

He was gonna tell Jeffy about me being gay.

My bottom lip quivered, and I rushed out the door. I ran all the way to the lot and threw myself on the ground, cutting open my knee, but I didn't care.

"I hate you Ponyboy Curtis! I hate you!"

I know that it's short but I promise the next chapter will be long! I wanted to write in Pony's point of view but I didn't want to mess up my system. I'll update soon!