Loving a Princess

25. Biggest mistake

"Aliyah, I'm not happy. I want you to know that. You broke your part of the deal!" Umniyah said, disappointment filling her voice.

I was on the phone with her, updating her on everything, as much as I dreaded to. But she was my best friend and had a right to know.

"Umniyah, try to understand! I didn't have a choice! Mum was going to be so disappointed if I said no! She was worried that this might be the last proposal in a while," I explained.

"Aliyah, eight months! Eight months, and you would have had a proposal from the guy you love!" Umniyah replied.

"Eight months, Umniyah! You think my mum would have believed me that in eight months, someone would send me a proposal? And what's the guarantee that Farshad would've agreed anyway?" I asked.

"Well, you know what, Aliyah? That was your own fault!" Umniyah snapped. I was shocked. Umniyah hardly, if ever, snapped at me.

"How?" I asked.

"You are the one who told me to let Farshad finish his PhD! I wanted to tell Farshad right away, so that the two of you could atleast get engaged! Then you could have gotten married after his studies!" Umniyah replied. "And for the record, I can give you a written guarantee that Farshad would have agreed to send you a proposal!"

I bit my lip guiltily. She was right. I lost the guy I loved and it was all because of my stubbornness.

"But he doesn't like me! Even if he would have agreed to sending me a proposal, it wouldn't be because he wants me but because he trusts your choice!" I argued.

"That doesn't matter! You love him, and this was your way of getting the guy you love! Now well done, you're engaged! So you can say goodbye to the one you love! Aliyah, I wanted my brother to get you, but you even prevented that from happening!" Umniyah said, anger filled in her voice.

The truth of her words hit me like bullets, and a single tear rolled down my cheek. What was happening to my life? Everything had become so jumbled and messed up!

I loved Farshad! What could I ever do now? I had lost all chances of getting him now that I was engaged to Talal, a guy I couldn't help but despise.

"What do I do, Umniyah?" I asked, feeling helpless all of a sudden.

"I don't know, Aliyah. For once, I can't help you regarding this marriage situation. I could have had you have given me a chance earlier, but you told me to wait till Farshad finishes his studies. Now there's nothing I can do!" Umniyah replied.

"I think that was the biggest mistake I made in my life," I admitted.

"I can see that. By now, you would have been engaged to the guy you love!" She said, and after a short pause, she continued. "Aliyah, I'm your best friend and I won't lie to you. Where you're wrong, I'll point it out to you, instead of beating around the bush. You, my friend, let your ego come in the way. You brought that whole 'let him finish his studies' deal because you wanted to buy time and push the topic away for later. Your ego came in the way because you felt that Farshad doesn't like you and your feelings for him are one-sided and that's why you didn't let me talk to him. I highly doubt if your feelings are one-sided and even if they were, so what? I know you well and Farshad trusts me. If I would have told him that you are an amazing person, he wouldn't have declined. Besides, even if he doesn't like you, which I doubt, he knows you well enough to agree to marry you because he knows that you're a good Muslimah, and you're also stunningly beautiful!"

I processed everything Umniyah said. She was right, I had let my ego get in the way. I didn't like the fact that maybe my feelings were one-sided and that's why I didn't want to let Umniyah say anything to Farshad. My delusional mind wanted Farshad to send me a proposal on his own accord, and because of that ego, I landed in this mess I was currently in. I am the one to blame doubtlessly.

But something Umniyah said was stuck in my mind. I highly doubt if your feelings are one-sided...

What did she mean?

"Umniyah? What do you mean that you doubt my feelings are one-sided?" I asked.

"Well, when you had that Mahmoud proposal a year and few months back, I told Farshad about it and -," Umniyah said, but I cut her off before she could speak any further.

"You did what?!" I exclaimed.

"Don't interrupt! I told him about it, and he didn't seem to take it so well. He suddenly became so inquisitive. I think he might have developed feelings for you too," Umniyah said.

"Oh. My. Allah!" Was all I could say, even though I knew she wasn't sure whether he liked me or not, she just had a hunch that perhaps he did.

"Yeah, so he probably likes you too. But even if he didn't, you shouldn't have let your ego get in the way. After marriage, he would bound to fall in love with you because you are a lovely girl and absolutely perfect for him!" Umniyah said.

"But it's too late for all that now, isn't it?" I said, quietly, another silent tear coming out from my eye.

"Aliyah, if it happens to be true that Farshad does like you too, then remember, not only did you spoil your own life but you also spoiled my brother's life. And I'm not happy about it," Umniyah said. For once, I felt like it wasn't my best friend whom I was talking to but it was a protective older sister. "Anyway, I've to go. I'll talk to you later," she said, and hung up before I could even bid her goodbye.

Umniyah was upset with me and I could understand where she was coming from. She wanted to talk to her brother about me so that at least we could be engaged, then get married after he got his PhD.

I felt so shattered. I was engaged to a guy I didn't like just because I feared mum getting disappointed. Besides, if I had agreed to Umniyah earlier, I wouldn't find myself in this situation. I looked at my engagement ring on my left hand in dismay.

I sank down on the floor beside my bed, leaning against the bedframe in distress. Thinking about how I could have been engaged to Farshad, the guy I loved, instead of some playboy like Talal made me burst into tears. I cried and cried to the point that my heart beat so agonisingly, I wanted to wrench it out of my chest.

I felt so helpless, so lonely. Who could I talk to? The only person who understood my situation was Umniyah and she was upset with me, and that was also my own fault. I didn't have the courage to talk to anyone else, be it mum, dad or my siblings. I knew that my brothers may have been able to understand me, but I knew that they had warned me not to agree to this Talal thing yet I didn't listen to them.

I didn't realise how long I was sitting there on the floor, weeping my eyes out, feeling so alone and lonely, until my phone buzzed with a notification. Picking it up, my eyes fell on the time, and I realised that it was time for Maghrib. I immediately stood up from my position and rushed to the ensuite bathroom to make wudhu and pray.

During sujood, I realised that maybe I felt alone because I couldn't get anyone to understand me or help me while I was in that situation. But in reality, I wasn't alone, because my Lord hadn't left me alone. Allah was there for me, and He understood my situation. Besides, I had agreed to this entire proposal whilst leaving my trust entirely on Allah.

Once I was done with salaah, I sat down on my prayer mat, and made du'ah to Allah. Ya Allah, please help me. I'm engaged to a guy whom I can't help but dislike, and although I have no right to judge and mum claims that he has changed, from what I know about him, this guy was a player. I'm engaged to him while I'm actually in love with someone else. Please help my situation, Ya Allah, because I've just found myself in a fix.

♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤

Wow, I have exams in like 8 days and here I am, updating on Wattpad! 

Anyway, hope you enjoyed this chapter.

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