Silas Jones: The Gang Fight

6

Silas sped through the night. He had never driven a car that could go from 0 to 20 km/h in under a minute, and he relished the feeling of speed. He wondered if he should go back and see if the police officer had been able to fight off whoever was shooting, but he decided if he hadn't there would probably be back up cops on the scene. Satisfied with his thoughts, his conscience at ease, he sped on towards Ipswich.

After driving for 10 minutes, Silas decided that the Ipswich turnoff would be coming up soon, so he slowed down to what he considered to be a slow speed of 120 k's per hour. Another police officer on a motorbike, who had just booked a drink driver, didn't share the same opinion. The radio in the car crackled to life and a strained voice shouted "WHAT THE BLOOMIN HECK ARE YOU DOING MATE!" Silas realised that police cars needed to have their lights on when driving, and figured this was what the other cop was talking about. So he flicked a switch, and the sirens started blaring as the lights started blinking. Taking both hands off the wheel, Silas reached over to reply into the radio. He was about to say sorry, forgot about the lights, just going to Ipswich, when a bat flew in front of the car, splattering itself on the windscreen. With a jump Silas planted his foot to the floor, skidded out of control and spun in circles, crashing into the guardrails and flying into the ditch.

A few minutes later he woke up dazed, but quickly regaining his senses, a skill he had acquired after many bouts of unconsciousness, he opened the door and stepped out of the police car. Looking at the car, crumpled and dishevelled with smoke coming out of its hood, he sighed in dismay. That's put me in the same situation as before, he thought sadly, no car, going on foot at night to Ipswich. But he brightened up when he remembered it wasn't his car in the first place. So looking around, he first noticed he had started skidding straight, but had veered left and by chance or luck, and had skidded into the Ipswich turnoff. He saw flashing lights and heard the wail of sirens come closer. Deciding he had best be off before some criminal the police must be chasing got any closer, he strode off down the road leading to Ipswich.

Soon he reached the smog that surrounded Ipswich, and all Bogan places, at night. He knew he was almost there. His feet and heart quickened their pace simultaneously as he stepped into the fog..... And quickly ran out again, being pursued by a group of mongrel dogs that looked very hungry. Running as fast as he could, he headed towards an abandoned petrol station. He was almost there when one of the dogs latched onto his leg, and he fell. The rest of the pack, which had grown in number during the chase, dog piled onto him, growling, barking and biting. With his last breath, Silas Jones gave a mighty yell "NOOOOOOOOOOOO I NEVER GOT TO BE IN A REAL FIGHT!"

Silas awoke. He was lying in something that felt like clouds. The bright white glare blinded him. White beings fluttered around his peripheral vision. Smiling, he realised he was in heaven, and decided to catch up on some sleep before doing anything. He had just drifted off when a harsh, almost feminine voice broke into his dreams. "He's conscious now! Well good, finally we can kick him out of his place!"

In panic, Silas awoke and screamed "I DON'T WANNA LEAVE HEAVEN!!!" his now open eyes and saw all the lovely ladies in white staring at him. With a harsh laugh, the matron of the ward (Silas knew it was the matron because she was the one that was not as lovely) said "This isn't heaven mate, more like hell! This is Ipswich hospital's emergency wing. And you my friend are now no longer our patient. So would you kindly GET OUT!" Startled at this sudden revelation that he wasn't in heaven, Silas said nothing but let himself be ushered out.

The doors burst open and he walked into the sunshine. He stood on Ipswich's famous and only footpath, the one that was outside the hospital and led nowhere. Gazing out into the traffic, made up of motorists all desperately avoiding delinquent Bogan kids chasing feral pigs, he sighed, letting all the stress of the past roll off his shoulders. Then with a smile and a spring in his step, he sauntered off down the sidewalk, intent on finding his one and only friend in all of Ipswich, Bill Tate.