Silence suddenly fell over the crowd, who moments before had been a screaming mob trying to kill each other. A feral kid suddenly started screaming, and at least 20 adults jumped on him and shut him up very quickly. As the woman slowly, almost daintily picked her way through the littered array of broken bottles, passed out bodies and broken barrels, the crowd silently continued to part for her. Then one by one they all began to drop their weapons, lower their fists and stand at attention. Someone started to sing the Ipswich anthem, and soon everyone joined in.
(Authors note: Now with all the different voices, and the lack of primary education, it's quite hard to understand what they are actually singing, but here is my best attempt).
Oh Ipswich all let us get drunk
For we are high on weed.
Our roads are full of pigs and turds
Our gutters smell like pee
For those who've come across the seas
We've (untintelligble mumbling)
(more mumbling which went on for a few verses.)
GO THE MAROONS!
As the last strains of the Ipswich anthem died away, the crowds eyes, which had all strayed the the tattoos of the words on their forearms, returned to the woman striding down the path opened for her.
Her fiery red hair seemed to catch in the light coming from the doorway of The Ulster. With her red lips and pale skin and blue eyes, she almost looked like goddess. As she reached the stairs of the pub, she turned around and gazed out over the crowd. As her eyes fell on each one, they dropped their gaze and fell on one knee. No one could withstand the gaze of the mighty lord of blackstone road. Soon all the crowd was on their knees.
Silas and his two compatriots were outside the main body of them, so the woman hadn't laid eyes on them yet.
"Who is sh-" Silas' coarse whisper was cut short as Reano and Jake both clamped hands over his mouth. "Silence mate, she's gonna speak," Reano hissed into Silas' ear. As the silent crowd waited expectantly, The woman opened her mouth.
"People of Ipswich!" she began. "Thank You for your welcoming party. If you could all clear out now, i'm gonna have some quiet drinks with the manager".
The still silent crowd nodded and started to filter away into the gloom. As soon as she was satisfied that everyone was leaving, she turned around and started to climb the stairs. As she reached the top, the manager came out of the now empty Ulster, and took her hand.
"Welcome back, Pauline Hanson!"
YOU ARE READING
Silas Jones: The Gang Fight
HumorImagine you're bored. Like really bored. You're browsing through some stories on Wattpad, trying to find something worth reading. Suddenly you have a bright idea. Instead of continuing your futile browsing, you decide to ring up an op-shop, to see i...
